When i put forth the greatest of effort and try
then left all forlorn
with my why?
y-y-why?
When my eyes
see your eyes
and the eye lashes back
the honesty says
look away, now
love, look away
How I feel all alone
and your loneliness
too
i wish for your love
though there’s nothing to
do
i hate all my wishing
i hate all my hating
hate all my feelings
this way and that
hating you
hating me
and then
get quiet
all turn
to stone
Then come dark clouds, the fifty thousand dark shades
the long and dark nights, the endless dark days
my ears start to bleed
my sight starts to fail
in exchange for choice words
my Latin
your Greek
choice merciless words
me to you to me speak
The storm in my head wants what happened, unreal
the turning over, my hands, what got stolen, not to steal
i stole from you steal from
away from us
now
the wall between rooms
made of pa·pier-mâ·ché some
how
How I would pull all apart! all the glue and the pulp
and i know you would, too! i swear this is
true
i will
Send out my linens now, white flags on the line
If only to know you were part, my design
i will
unshape the monsters, tie them with twine
with hair if i have to, to keep unrefined
all the hatred between us
the base
solid kind
Above which we once drew our cottons, with care
before they got soaked in all our red sea, phantasm glare
in the midnight dead sky
freshly fallen
lost love
Instead i am left to wonder what was
with this broken heart, because and because
surrounded by white flags
and my
why why?
why whys
the tears
the wood floor
now dries
Soon to burn
in the hearth of my heart
down below
Knowing exactly
what i never wanted
to know