saints

we benefit by choosing selfless lives, turning away from pleasures the average person affords. the cost of living is lower in an ascetic home and heart.

my god. when I think of some of the selfishness of my past, and what it cost me. if I can champion you before I champion myself, life makes better sense.

I imagine we will always struggle with our choices and I hope 4 more comfort than regret traveling through these lives. these geographies.

even saints were travellers,

once.

99 reviews

#99

Amazon Review of Girl Without Borders
5.0 out of 5 stars

broken toys of cyberspace

one died of a bullet through a heavy bound text shot by a girl and a go pro camera. another talking trash on a binge drunk rampage got murdered by the character he assassinated. one took an elevator up a high rise in China then climbed free and slipped to his death. a million followers more cannot help you when you’re gone. we will remember these years for all our sad broken toys in cyberspace. someday may they be retrofitted with new capes and powers and costumes. and endless lives. in the deadly video game where they reside.

bean green

I wish I could call you and thank you for the yummy turkey and green bean casserole. I caught a bad cold so my voice is compromised. Hope you had a safe trip home and I miss you. If I’m well enough I plan to go see the family in Tahoe this weekend as Xmas falls on my day off. The last 3 months have been the hardest yet most exciting time in the past 5 years what with interviews and licensing demands and writing my book and training for my ultra run in March. I’m taking this moment of rest to breathe (with inhalers 2 help!) and appreciate all that I’m trying to accomplish. None of it would have been possible without your help so I thank you. Love. K

s.mode

There will be those times no matter how well you have prepared when you experience hardship. stay calm and faithful to your work. do not be afraid to ask for help. every hour of hardship is worth fifty hours of contentment. on the other side of s.mode, may you find your spirit renewed.

aka

Gettin’ to be great at anything is like throwing yourself into a whiteout a snow sky (not a blackout) and surrendering to how the world feels you touches you allows you to exist… and fights you to see what you’re made of (engulfs you if you’re not made of anything worth asserting yourself) and celebrates you if you can stay in it’s light (and darkness) long enough (aka endure) to change and tolerate pain, and work at staying the same while changing. call it core values if you want. call it spontaneous expression. call it art or authorship if you want. call yourself god. see if I give a fuck.

12.seventeen

twelve.17
the winds rose overnight and compelled us all to feel. limbs of sycamores fell into the streets. the cat brought me a headless robin in a mouth full with feathers. i believe i am chosen to be raw. nothing comes easy anymore. i tell my story by words. life has never been so enticing.

a prayer. #archive 2015

i want only to live my life and let you go, please, may i have the courage to walk away and wish you well, healing and happiness and all the things cash cannot buy. no matter how many phone numbers are blocked, hurtful text messages deleted,  email addresses registered as spam; no matter how many doors i lock and photos i delete and letters i recycle, nothing changes unless i settle with myself. yes i am branded, yes i wear your imprint on my heart. and how can i regret, what with all the goodness you gave me before we fell out? those moments in love were unbelievable. i am incredulous, shocked, having lost you. years have passed and still you find a way to me. to hurt me some more with the painful rewriting of our history. please forgive me, but i must for my spirit and forever walk away from you. when i remember you, i promise to try and remember when you were the greatest. we were the best and for a second. no one will remember but us, the flash the spark we were and then were over. and now i say goodbye. and i love you.