double torture

opposing the old upset that comes with life not going according to plan, deep into a saturday we forged. we joined up with natural order and made winging it fun. we shared a double torture from Dutch Bros and got our guidance from highway signs. 9 years to the day of our last major meltdown. a voyage to Alameda to see our friends. there are treasures awaiting if you can hold out to the end.

#katyamills

sola fide

when mala fide
in cloaks of red
extinguish all the light

the allies showing bona fide

vanish from sight

loyal hands clasped in prayer

soldiers young and old 

prepare  

the off beat
of broken hearts

when the shelling

starts

send ammunition!

for our freedom

we will fight

faith alone is not enough
to make it through
the night

#katyamills

bullfrog

climbing the walls of our will, numb and detached from purpose, deep in despair, entertained to near death, technologically baffled, compulsively obsessed, imagination fraught from lack of use, cut by seven blade razors, telemarketed, stuck on stupid, shot at by solar flares, inundated by cell rays, frozen in synthetic fear frostings, sucking on substitute sugars, dipped in electromagnetic confection, infected by ad campaigns, propped up by pharmaceuticals, shuffling whole food aisles, storage wars won at auction, amassing detritus in space to the gills … modern life can get pretty blasphemous. i gotta claw my way out of it. chaos toppled by order toppled by chaos. i gotta go deeper. below the muddy quicksand of modern life lies firm and solid virgin ground. bedrock. you cannot see it but it is there. resplendent as the throats of bullfrogs in spring.   #katyamills

what are we in love

undefeated by the horrible racket coming from the flat next door, i double down on intent. white as a sheet you turned, the lip service gave you form not substance. the tattoos we got helped us endure. black was the ink not knowing what to write, gone for a day without nourishment. how can i tell you, it is only in your head? comprised of particulate matter. just like me you’re unreal sometimes. it’s complicated. today i won’t stand behind you. no. the splinters of our lives they glint in the sun. what are we, in love?   #katyamills

serenaded @ safeway

singing while stocking the grocery aisles, a young man makes work a little joyful. unintentionally serenaded i get a little anxious picking up my root beer. the case slips from my hands. the cans they pop off and shower us with foam. under the lights he lifts up my chin. don’t cry. runs his large hands through my carbonated braids. this was meant to be.    #katyamills

book of poetry (new release)

hello friends! this is Katya. i am happy to announce i released my first book of poetry yesterday. Up From the Downtrodden. thanks for all your feedback here as many of the poems i chose to include came by looking at my wp statistics and finding the poems that you all loved the most over the past several years. i have been primarily an author of fiction and creative nonfiction, and all of my 6 published works on goodreads.com (and amazon.com) are either novels and novellas. i am fully independent and do all my own editing and self-publishing. i use beta readers to ensure the content is highest quality.

i took every poem through additional edits over the past year as i built this collection up, so poems you find in the collection will be more fully realized versions of themselves. the only way i’ve been capable of publishing a poem a day for the last 9 years (the promise i made to myself for a daily spiritual practice and meditation) has been to work quickly yet carefully, revisiting each poem 1-4 times, before the commitment. this process has left some room for potential and actualization. i believe you will not be disappointed if you choose to purchase (or, if you have amazon prime, you can read the ebook for free) the paperback. thank you for supporting independent authors like myself! – Katya Mills

2.22.22

i was on the couch with milk green tea. a book resting its wings on my chest. my nerves were playing hard after one of those days you wanna forget. what was left of the light, deflected off the silver ring you gave me, and found a home in the flowers. they say when a planet gets too close to the sun, its atmosphere begins to burn off and leaves a smoky trail in outer space. after countless years it is stripped down to a scorched rock. culture. dedicated to breakdown and cracked in the teeth. well well, i thought, earth still got its atmosphere and i got one, too. i don’t give a damn what they say when they don’t know what they’re talking about! the thought of this calmed me and i drifted into peaceful sleep.  #katyamills

the true leader of Russia


it was hardest to have to go on 

without a comrade on any

kind of battlefield

everything was too much 

these days. even ceremony

he went to pay tribute to Navalny

the true secret leader of Russia 

because that’s what you do

starting strong the voice began

to crack

tears 

and decency

prevailed

#katyamills

star free remix


i am star free i am
overcast sky

all the bad habits i
traded them in 4 something more predictable
something more certain

uncommon

i blackened Hollywoods
digital rolling
eyeyou are blue you are chaos

you remind me of my old self   
gripping hearts between  

thighs

no longer unmoored 

i am star free cloud-based
outlandish

i am grateful
i shot myself out of
the sky

#katyamills