I wanted to live there. i wasn’t desperate, i just wanted to live there. i had a place already! And from my space i could see where i wanted to live and dream about it, while listening to the oven cook the pulp out of the pumpkin seeds.
I saw you
I offered you all i could offer
You wanted but would not accept my help. Why?
Do not leave me
with what i offer
Maybe the greatest blessing i have tonight, are these long moments without you, for i can see you from afar and you’re not dangerous anymore, and my once relentless mind has gone on standby.
Yes i tire
of a selfish
i wanna set something
afire and do
i pick the line between us
and raze your toxic
it is alarming
Today i saw a man hold a cat in his arms, loving it like a child. Today i got so very tight in the chest that it hurt.
An unfortunate dispute with a toxic young woman, whose touch like unconscious betrayal. Yet close to my years on this earth.
The warmth vibrating for almost hours, before the body, dehydrate.
The cold-blooded toxicity poured freely into my vessel. I swear i tried to dam her! But unimpeded rhythms are to live by. And i need to know how you really feel.
And we could have been sisters.
And we could have been brothers.
Maybe, some day, we could have been lovers.
No use. All i could do was hold myself high and separate, in the end. For feeling all my feelings to the end. Even the most celebrated among us, shy away from great pain.
I will be the conduit of all the worlds triumphs and tragedies.
I will take it on and let it all go.
I will be forced on my knees, to find some disparate peace.
We all earned our place on this pounded round earth. With our gods. We run around circles, figure eights. Atomically bombed.
I lost my world in a mirror. The mirror tricked me. I thought I was 3D.
I was 3D, until my mirror tricked me. Now I’m two dimensions. Eye candy. Background noise.
Someone taught me how to be one-mindful. Now I am single-purposed. One-dimensional. My blade just lost an edge.
They figured out a way to grind me up so fine, into a pointilistic portrait. My EP is an LP. I’m seen in single vision. I got a one track mind.
As i got stirred into the kettle hot water, with powdered cream and splenda, I guess I missed the point.
Still would I find my way through them, though the passage was not easy. Pontificating in the joint.
I reconfigured myself then, like stepping out of Tron. Back into the world of phenomena.
Now I am
I felt lost again. Off road. This happened maybe once a day.
All sorts of creative tricks to find my way home.
I had to be ashamed to not know myself any day.
Might happen in the juicy center of an audition.
Then what would i do?
In the middle of my song, and who’s now singing?
My feelings changed over time.
Feeling ashamed was no way to feel!
How could i ever learn to find my way home?
If i never got lost?
I think i began to enjoy the experience.
I would tell you my latest secret for getting found.
But i would have to kill me.