death of a koi

all the work was done and now 

she could rest

grabbed a pack and a beer 

sat down by the koi pond

counted the fish

heart stopped. it did not add up

a raccoon took out a beloved one of 

fifty some years and older than her

she cursed at the gods

and the gods they

laughed

#katyamills

like a stranger

yes 

you burned me again

reigniting the past through your dirty broken 

magnifying lens

hurt

i turned away from this nonsense

and toward my aunt whom you told me

in the same breath

died

harboring the question

have you no heart? 

to me

you are like

a stranger

#katyamills

the inconsolable light that is you

so inconsolable 

you became the forecast 

god knows 

your light after the storm your

light! the calm!

before so inconsolable

god knows the light

the calm after

the storm

#katyamills

twenty thirteen

fentanyl hit the spleen

overdose became mainstream you

lost so many friends and legends and the sun still rises

the light still wakes you under

your angel hair cabbage you

formulate a mission you play with memory you

love and live on

and on

and on

#katyamills

soft fall

the grapefruit ice you stir

upon the delta breeze
while summer lost

the spark

calm down you need not

rush

the leaves to turn and

softly fall upon the crossing

walk

time to sit and talk

all the cell phones gone and what a world

would be. what a world

 

once

was and how we got along you

fingered my blouse i cried to think so

soon you would be

gone

kill it with truth

the ring you gave me years ago when

we were still in love

disappeared

i lost it. i did not know i had

in the lot adjacent to the autoparts store

touch up paint spilled so i scrubbed

my hands with pumice

oh

how we died. i cannot stand the memory the

fallout years ago

we could no more kill

it with kindness only

truth

fall soft

the grapefruit ice you drink upon the delta breeze

with summer lost its spark

calm down. you need not rush

the leaves to turn and

softly fall upon the crossing

walk

time to sit and talk

all the cell phones gone and what a world

would be. what a world once

was and how we got along you

fingered my blouse i cried to think so

soon you would be

gone

reading #222

AME AND THE TANGY ENERGETIC BY KATYA MILLS

adrienne

she was my friend
Adrienne
now she’s gone and
i wish i had been
longer by her
side

dream of a loss

i just now woke from a nightmare whereby my keys were lost or stolen. my friend sarah who i havent seen in a decade was the only bright aspect to the dream. she was helping me. taking me to some lesser known city resource where hopelessness ends.

we were waiting in line when i woke up. the stress melted out of my mind and body like a pad of butter in a pan. the birds the sun and the cats preceded me to consciousness. a couple hours before work. how terrible a feeling, to lose anything important to you.