suck 4 free

I  did something not so cool a few months back. ya. me.

thank you, thank  u all my fans all my friends all my jacks all my jills. all my lovers

and haters drunk top to the gills.


borderline friends of mine unite and sue my ass: i was all good. now. i am all bad.

yes, you have been had.

now comes the long silent arduous task put upon you:

subtract all of those pleasantries and glossy superlatives you naively

prefixed to me over the years. addressing and cross-referencing  from home

and with heart, all the turns of my phrases, powerpoints and piecharts.

Try to turn the page. i have located the proper receptacle for all your

collective (nothing  personal) rage.


Hey! i had 2 do it 2. crossexamined and redressed my ego. my self. my sense. Yes it was

awful. yes it was tense. but now, a few years of suffering painful loss and grief later? i am

whole. i am real. i think i may even make some kinda sense.


This is nothing new. this is true, man! this is true, ma’am! Things we thought we wanted, some day

we outgrew. So outgrow me if you must. Let your memory of me dash. Let my image once burned,

be cooled to ice and shatter. Or let it lie. let it rust. Do what you will, do not listen or heed my advice

no more now. Not now unless you have some place outside mainstream. Some eddy gone starboard,

or left of the usual. Tied down to the table to teach you to write right-handed.


more like the others

less unusual

more familiar



More of a known quantity. More choice!

More straight line by design!


Atleast not so inconspicuous or way out there that precludes your being chosen. Or choosable.

The green party for instance does better at color mixers. Whether prime or not quite so, the

result of mixers is mixing. So that green becomes less so, and therefore less unusual. Less like kombucha

or non-FDA sanctioned kinds of foods, you know. Dumbed down? Well, so B it! A third party on top

of two may as well be unbelievable.


Binary is an U.S. American cultural institution. Not just one from another but either or. Or when

competition leads to a tie, consider BOTH a fit conclusion. Winners offset losers and losers lost to

winners. Both go home knowing they are one or the other. This peace of mind follows from age old

archetype wisdoms, like the bible and the pairing off of species when the flood almost annihilated

the planet. If you cannot understand the cultural fixation, read that OLD testament. Hell, read the

NEW one if you still cannot understand it. The old and the new, the two testaments, see?

We must all have a choice i guess if we are to call ourselves free. So an alternative to one is a must,

that is obvious. Adding more on top of that is like basically superfluous. Unnecessary! Greedy! Un

American! SEEDY!


After all the West is where all comes to a rest. Is it not where the

day meets its opposite, the night? Is it not the beautiful coloring of the sky when the sun sets?

The evidence is unshakable. The verdict unchanged. The truisms unchallenged, framed and placed on all 4 walls.

Narrow thinking belies the need for long halls.


The Yang curls up under the Yin so subtle softly. Like tonic and gin curl up under the alcoholic.

Sweet nonsense and tingling uprooting all foundation. The kind of prohibitive allowance that defies all

creation. Or god forbid that which knocks over propped up nations!


We must be man or woman. We must know right from wrong. We must be conversational if we do notbreak out in song. Dogs or cat people, nothing else exists. Hey!  Overwhelming the masses is a crime not worth mentioning. You can call it diversity, but some say overwhelmed by choices. Simplify your life, they say, from the jacuzzis in their rolls royces. Whats a melting pot once its melted down from different. Into the form of congealed lookalike of one or the other, or, what the hell is it? Its more of the same, with a pinch of some culture, but not enough to cause problems, no, not in the least bit.


Well the outlying territory still exists, of course, too bad. The lonely land of those outlyers may be

segregate unmentionable. The aggregate of segregate unmentionable stew? Well dont worry it cannot

shake the conventional dualist skew. Nor will the theory be tried. Just accepted. Just true.

So i was not cool, i was uncool. well, thats one of two, anyway. I guess thats why you can still read

my articulate articles, per se. Or have none of it, no who what where or how —  no way.


All else fails when im not put up to the test. I am a hypothesis of a human being, so fuck all the rest! My continuum continues to rattle the cage separates the wild from domesticate.


The one that begs many questions :

who is really troubled or entrapped? The wine conneisseour

who pays top dollar just to drink? Or the indigent jug wino who walks the streets and need not be sane

nor conducive to samethink? Or what is margarine between liquid and solid states? Or what comes after dying?

Heaven or hell, love or hate?


Alchemical process. So mysterious or frightening to so many. Many behind empirical science and the funding.

The many studies and grants funded to make waves through profit systems. Like lining pockets of the publishers and adding coats that make it glisten. The matte finish finishes last, im sure i need not mention. The empirically hydrogenated pasteurized fat solutions which proliferate over the lands.

Whereas organic ideas fall aside like roadkill, undressed by voracious dual vision.

(No one ever gave victory to the looks of emaciated desolate bones, let alone a ‘decision’.)

So long as the fats are consistent and anti the transfats, people listen.  Once you cross the border, you’re by law a foreigner among the -isms. All the others, the unmentionables, etc..  ride the rails of lonely continuum.  yes they do.

The trans and fluid alchemically moved, those inbetwixt inbetween, they exist in the empty full space of deafening silence.  yes.  off on far off islands just within your easy grasp and completely out of reach.

Known of only through urban legend. or through your transparent neighbors for two score years and ten, of whom you only know from latenight tv flickering calm trance zen.  or via coffeepot teawhistle gossip grapevines. or some spy ambulance chaser style pseudopaparazziwith juicy updates half-invented on fridays in earshot of the dead furniture of suburban homes.


YES they do or NO they don’t. MAYBE you will think its yes or no, just dont think its maybe maybe, no please! no! just dont! If you do, you risk de-assimilating from the sameness contextual vortex. The one that brings us into synchronous unitive fields to collect. You either give or you take, you must be one of two type people! Excluding clones, and oh yes, movie sequels. Amnesty must be given to Terminators 4,5 and six. Arnold and the boy, must have a sleeve which must have tricks. Atleast enough to get us through.

Atleast enough to get us through, from living to the dying side. Do not speak of what lies in between, who? what? said anything therin lies? not I! not me! must be he! must be she! Because I am only this, and he she is only that. To suggest such kind of flexibility is sacreligiously profane. Something heard only amongst criminally insane! To even propose that i once did not recycle, is so malicious! frozen! degenerate! or laundered, yes, illegal! immoral and illegal! everyone you all agree. If you don’t then you are other, and other is not right. Apparently other is fearful. Whereas you, you are self-declared ‘all right!’

None of this makes sense, this nonsense, though some of it really does. Some of it just won’t make sense, while some fits like a glove. What i want you all to know is that my personal opinion is flux. You may not pin me down. You may shower me with big bucks. I don’t care, really, cause it will not change my location. My GPS exists just because it must be tracked. If I were still like a stone, what would i be? If i were hung to dry on the rack, must i no longer hold water? Just because I am a woman, why can’t i marry your daughter? If she is in love with me, which does not fit your belief system, does your system reject her outright? or try to integrate her? Like the ocean takes in toxins and dilutes them, ie,

makes a place for…

I want to live less among telephone poles. And I want you to want the same.

turn backs on newspapers!  live with trees!

I really love to watch the colors

When they change

In the Fall


The leaves may die, its true.

But think now,

back to every Fall you know

or knew…


when the leaves turned and fell out,

did the tree die, too?