love over coffee

the essence steeped

clouding my energy then

overcome

i put down my pen

leather bound journal open

faced in the café i

closed my eyes and thought 

of you

our energies once

commingled here

the pressure of heat on water the

steam submerged in milk

endlessly colored by

coffee how we met eyes

ina non-committal

slightly disinterested

way

i felt you

looking over me i could taste

you tasting me

steeped in me

the essence at first clouded

my energy

then 

then i was

i was

overcome

1983

we were kids

not even ten

when we found

our hideout ina

faded olive

winter-warped

waterlogged

hornet-infested

window cracked

trespass

warning

shack

middle of the pet

cemetery

i had to stop

reading books

late into the night

if i hoped to get up

early enough

to meet you all

there

but i could

not

polaroid

you

are the life you are the 

hard seasons the

recipe dating generations 

back

careless restless and reckless

the soft viable understanding

at the end of a great confusion

soon escapes you

owls in the night upset 

your blood pressure you

throw parties you create

and destroy

you drink endless glasses

of milk and bourbon you

call and no one answers 

you

raise high your fists you

splash around dark thoughts 

and then

and then one day

you give a damn you

really do you seek forgiveness

and the strength of 

conviction

you change but all they see

is a snapshot a 

polaroid

you upset the blood 

pressure you reek of hard seasons

recipes dating back to a great

confusion

all that is left of you

is your change

open your fists and let

your hands meet. look

up to the sky. may the soft

and viable understanding

save you

#katyamills

the best

my brother

it pains me

divides us

the way i see you do not see 

the world

i turn up the Smiths

to stop my heart

my heart 

from hurting

take my will take

my life 

all i

all i know is 

my brother

you’re the

fucking

best

if i could only love you

for the way you look at life

look over your shoulder

follow your arm

open my eyes 

and declare yes!

yes! i see what

you see i love what

you love!

would i lie to you?

my brother

no. but i 

can 

i can love you

love i can

love