more space guesswork

Andromeda did not mind about the light years gone missing. Saturn or some body in space was happy to harbor them but they sure took their time arriving. Watch out you might get fractal off the rings, or maybe that’s what was supposed to happen. I always cut up my years into months and smaller increments. I bake them in a pan and they come out all seasonal. That way kids know when they go bad, not to eat them. Andromeda takes them back when we send them, and turns them into meteor showers, the galaxy to exfoliate. Deep space is the safest place around, minimal pollution, air and sound. I wanna go there when my world fails me. I cannot stand the anxiety. Earth looks good from the outside, but just try burning through the atmosphere; you will soon discover it wasn’t worth it. Sorry to let you down and all.

to the lighthouse cat by kat

daydream #k

i dreamed of a jump
off a balcony
i got a key
to a gate
to a pool

now i can
get wet
the way they want me
to get wet

then if i make it
up quickly and
i can lie
on the couch
by the window

watch the waters turn
my ceiling into a light
and daydream
some more
through vertical


there’s more beyond

the numbers

the cigarettes

the coupons more

behind the words

thoughts the deeds

more to come of life



why would i restrict myself

to a rising setting sun?


only a single revolution around

the earth is needed to

prove it is not


notarize the thighs (no.7)

Oversaturated with char-broil
ranch sauce and carpet sales

how would we survive
if we rented out
our heads

come knocking
first of the month

they look at us incredulous
shaking out a hook
the jingle

pay up motherfucker
you live on our land

did you think
this was

china market

we went to the asian market
and found a fish
to fry

packed in ice behind
a hundred
thousand pounds of
rice we were

careful not
to look
him in

the eye

the legend of captive 8

captive 8
did not hesitate
they made it out
the words
on dying
breath persist
i am free
captive 9
may never know
the old great feel
of earth
   and pine
         and snow
of trees and moon
long shadows
a foot of snow
held their imprint
so long
home they went
beloved captive 8
due north
for what
a life was
captive 9
had heard
the shot
all hope
as well
that night
behind the downy
they cried the memory
of one
who shared
the singular dream
locking doors
and prison whores
‘neath the cold
all they ever
knew was all
they ever

shadow of a bell

i awoke
 tense with fear

 a subway car
 the killer
blue sandals

 i try to hide from
anyone’s eyes
  what had they thought
 i had done?

the crime

i am not
the one!


i moved to california from chicago hoping to renew my life. i was always looking 4 the energy to carry on. depressed and reluctant 2 try antidepressants after all the pills in china failed to help. some good people helped me get through the day by days. i got a job and sold my house in illinois. i bought a truck and read some books. i could not write anymore. not without cocaine and bourbon with milk. believe me, i tried. i carried a deep sense of self-betrayal (though no longer self-medicating and destroying myself). a better life was waiting to receive me. my demons were not done with me. i read more books. i walked around and thought. i enrolled in graduate school to study transpersonal psychology. i read William James and Carl Jung and Bill Wilson. i wanted to make a difference in my community. i had to teach myself to be responsible all over again. i had to be alone. to write without putting anything in me. just a cup of coffee or tea…ten years later i found the courage to really live.


whisky sour in my hand
somewhere near division
the heart got exploited
by the vision
turnin inward
on myself
awaiting the great
fade out
double zero


we could taste
the millennium on
our collective
back in ’99
i was twenty-six
preferred the written word
to fists