emergenc.y

my thoughts spoke for themselves my
feelings could scarcely be
contained

any time of triumph of the spirit
appeared

rather sloppy and
unsophisticated

this

the insecurity of youth has passed
with its hunger for identity
and dearth of belonging

oh! to feel this much
closer to
home

journal 24.10

i am older now and not without aches and pain
and i can feel what i’ve been through in them

it’s not so bad

kinda tells me what i’m made of

lost with you

staying up late into the night and still
early for you. i am listening to the world series
fills the room with sunshine in the muted

waves of sound

the away team has won every game and my heart
can still hear yours. you would laugh at me

for sure, to call the hour
late

we would be just getting started

out looking for videotapes and alleyway treasures
and trouble

in five days we turn time back again
will we remember, you and me?
we strung out different images

off the same
perspective and
none of it looked real

all i have to say is that i cannot forget
what happened. getting lost
with you

getting lost
changed my life

fall the fields

fall the fields arid
the vineyards patched out
from the sky

we worry the wind
we worry the skin of earth
and tree. shed out
and sprawling free

end of night
downtown

i follow the arc of the tip
of your cig.

you damned drunk!
and quietly stamp out
the berry

the screens

when the screens are off i
speak to you and
you listen

our feelings fully
articulated

you speak to me

i listen

we feel close

thank god
we have a chance

readers take

i shared my latest novella (not yet published) with three chosen readers, two of whom are authors, no nonsense types whom i felt would give it an honest appraisal. i got a call from the only one who finished and held my breath…turns out they liked it! they liked the rhythm and lyricism of the writing. the setting was clear. they cared about the protagonist and her friends. they found the character development to be solid. the plot kept them interested and the end left them wanting more. one of the areas i could work on, they suggested, is by limiting the time i spend in the headspace of my protagonist. they found these extended daydreams much less interesting and wanted me to get back to the storyline. i am grateful for this critique! with a little luck i should have my 6th title out on goodreads before the year ends. here is the link to my author page if you are interested: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7276703.Katya_Mills

 

the haunted 10 and 24

we rode a haunted train with oil and water
beading off the engine for what i
thought was fun. i
did not believe i was alone i
turned to smile and share

the season

and you

you
had a distant look in your eyes partway
unmoored. the other passengers i asked
for help but

they

they were lifeless in their
seats moved only by a rumbling
on the rails

a hand fallen down off the elbow
and. and. an upturned

forehead

somewhere behind us
the terrible sounds

the

the wailing of the

winds the cracking of some glass or why. why

why the sky was dark

the steam streaming past
the glass and my heartbeat bumping up against
the ceiling

a lonesome solitary feeling

as we long since
left the station to nowhere headed
racing

chicago. summer

this energy has welled
pulled us into the hollow
inside

this energy has shifted
can we trust it?

who cares!

let’s get up and go to the store
together. look at the clouds!

giving us all and the
trees a glow

i have fifty cents
i will buy you a
coke

like a control freak

like a control freak losing
control you could not
hold on

you had to
let go

scared you are
guarded

you see things you
never before
saw

breathe. take it easy

it’s better
this way