not the most pleasant but certainly the most liberal thought

The right is preaching morality again. Not that the left isn’t. This is not news. The right is taking sides again, damn it.  They are halving these lemons with merciless stainless steel knives they sharpen behind smirks and glassy eyes, listening to Limbaugh and talking about handicaps. They are crying now, the right, crying while their daughters work their confidantes into friends into acquaintances and phone lists to drum up a ride to the clinic and some cash for the procedure. Its outpatient. Its dire. It has been weighing on the young girls’ minds for longer than necessary. And the tears fall at around the same time. Early afternoon when the lemons are being spruced up and gutted of seeds for the marinated mountain trouts. His eyes are stinging and he’s crying and laughing as the compatriots rib him over it. Like they always do. Grown man crying. She’s sedated but still more aware than she would like. The nurses told her best to take a mild sedative not a deer in the headlights dose. Why?

Now she knew why. They were right. Because hey, she was still in her body afterwards, and though the seconds were hours, they were gone like seconds and she found herself looking back into the outpatient room almost as though it were too soon to go, unnatural so. She was saying goodbye to the nurses, now. They were trying hard to smile. They were doing it for her. Focused on minimizing the trauma. No one wants this. No one asks for it or deserves it. The right was wrong. The far right. The crazy deadstare lifers with their deadweight x-rate images no one should ever be forced to see. The deadend lifers dead to the daughters of the invisible American family experience. The parents whose lives have turned a difficult turn again, and no it’s not the best time to share. Not the best time to care.

Will it ever be? Maybe. Maybe looking back ten years gone, looking back and apologizing for being absentee to the emotional discord, the spiritual movement flexing inside a young bright star, young girl got screwed and screwed up, misjudged the guy, misjudged the timing, got drunk with her friends and got stupid. Lost alertness… lost a whole lot more. Even with the benevolence of the nurses, the nonjudgment, the suspension of judgment, the carrying out of reduction of harm. The understanding the psychology of trauma and loss and grief. The grounding the girl’s process in smiles and facts and exactness of protocol so as to provide a tight container of love or compassion for someone so young and asking for help, and still learning to love self through the madness of all the bad shit we do and see and have done to us over the years. Some to survive. Others to survive longer. And all of us to endure that steady certain suffering in whatever dose we can take, and then working to stem the tide with our pharmacies by our sides. Crutches are good for a while.

What kind of world could be more intriguing than this mystery mansion with its deadends and distortions? We witness ourselves and one another, going through contortions. To be continued!

copper and tvs and mayday tension. 2012.

calm b4 may

oaklandave. by katya.

The mayday 2012 oakland happenstance forced my hand. I wanted to write about the evils of television. I was not near done with that monster. But here I am right in the heart of the great tension in our country. The attention lavished on the occupy movement again has payoff for those operating peripherally to the scene. The copper cowboys have stripped another west or east side apartment, business, church, school, of all its copper plumbing and wiring, to sell off the the tune of black market gold, again. This is a lucrative business for those who have no other way to get through another day on the scraps the well off leave on the sidewalk like treats to be devoured by the first thirsty one to come along. Copper has clear value and is clearly left vulnerable because no one ever imagined this shit being stripped and ripped off, so wow, there is a good example of how times have changed, the public conscience has to get over it and adapt to the new ways.


What are the desperate and hungry felons and small-time pushers and pimps and match men supposed to do? Feign peace and tranquility? Believe me they are gonna stay true to their skills, and dedicate themselves toward their own version of the American dream, which sadly is often just having one’s basic needs met with a cushion for some reassurance it won’t all get pulled out from under them tomorrow. No joke. Everyone’s looking for a mark or a handout, times like these. Everyone’s getting stripped naked and pushed around and evaluated for fortitude or cased out for vulnerabilities. Respect is hard won and easily withdrawn, on the streets here. Hypervigilance is one method to keep self-worth together.


The fire hydrants long since lost their worth. Stripped of copper fixtures.  The train tracks became a challenging landscape for continued skirmishing, the 99% ers trying to continue to eat and stay warm and sleep, letting the single percenters know that the price paid for amassing inexpressible amounts of wealth far beyond satisfying of wants and needs, was a society getting stripped of any decent public amenities, or else plastic would have to again become the scab picket line crosser and offer a fischer price kinda fix for the public’s safety, and because there was no other answer to the movements lately moving, the Occupy movement, the SEIU movement, the Anonymous charge across previously unchallenged firewalls surrounding all the confidential valuable evidence of the true nature of wealth getting wealthy in a country practically on sale to treasury-rich China and other highly intelligent growing shareholders preparing for the USA‘s next bake sale, another private offering, initial, secondary, tertiary…it has got to be done! in the face of economic fragility, real estate discrepancy, silicon valley bubble-forming and pressing on and on, full of hot air at the height of 1999, and liable to repeat itself from here on forward, 2012, just you wait and see, because the stock market is most enjoyed when the single percenters are fucking channeling your 401Ks and 403Bs into inflated, modelled, masked, hotrod web presences who will fly into celestial released confetti drops of cashed in stock options called to earth mere days after IPO‘s hit the tape, despite ongoing efforts to prevent the maelstrom, grassroots bodies en masse to block off the wall street circulation this summer, just to maybe stop some deals from going so smoothly, due to disruptions unanticipated and costly, perhaps.


Who knows? Who cares? We shall see the evolutions on both ends and rarely meeting, unless in violent shoutdowns and teargas and eardrum shattering fireworks here in big Oakland where the culture’s litmus test continues to confront and fail the people in a certain sad kinda way. Leaving the anarchists like buzzards afterhours, tearing up the businesses and corporations without any sense or purpose, just unleashed anger and misguided childish rebellion not to be tolerated.


The good people come back at dawn to clean up after the bitches. And the political response has a matte gray aura surrounds it. Meaning the fear possesses those in office, they cry out for help when shit happens, the media picks up on the crisis and captures what once again becomes a circus on broadway and 14th by the tribune tower there in oakland rising high. And don’t think for a second that joining a circus is all kicks and giggles, nah, you got real tigers and lions and elephants could crush ten men in a sudden fit of stampeding rage. And have. To protest their captivity. Their condition. Well, see the parallel? We got people, humans, sentients, who find themselves truly in captivity, forced to go through certain repetitive motions to simply exist in a tolerable fashion in the cities of our dear country! hey now, this is not wonderful. Not at all.


This is the truth, I can testify to the condition myself. For the capitalist element of the democracy has not allowed for loose ends and generosity or forgiveness, not to anyone. Nothing is spared, not a cent! These companies cannot afford to let a penny slip out of the balance sheets, cause the roadshow will go sour and the institutional holders will drive their stakes down, which will reflect to the savvy managers of hedge and mutual funds, who will reflect back to the backroom analysts who keep a general eye on the makeup of any and all given industries, and start to see and send a benign tremor through the wires, possibly developing through poor communications not quite accurate all the time, and sinking an otherwise beneficial and industrious presence on the basis of a question mark in the currents (rumor mixed with analytical fact) at best.


But the moneys gotta go somewhere! for goodness sakes! So there’s hardly time to find a spot on the trading floor in any major city’s exchange, just to bid up a lesser known quality hyped hard over Petron Sunrises and the exchanges, the deals on the putting greens, the handshakes in the Don Cesar old world style beachfront hotels dotting the east and west coasts…always a couple selling points short yet their is often a favor owed to someone for some past allocation of OUR monies into a less than certain gamble.


So the social etiquette and the kissing of asses and the grieving of the lifestyles, the pressures, the big money, the market makers, the attitudes, the competition beyond healthy levels, the fear driven dollars, the lazy money, the GIFT, the tax workaround plan B on the down low or right up like oil on water if the gamble paid off…. because then the publicity can be bought nice.


The treachery, the envy of wives, the pretension, the ugly collision with ivy leaguers, the nepotism, the patriarchy, and at the end of the day it could be cover your ass time CYA indeed! breaking up paper trails and sending SEC overworked underpaid unwelcome agents off the tracks and into the nowhere like stairs leading up to nothing but the ceiling. Pyramid schemes gone off into our pockets to smooth the uninformed into guaranteed momentum carrying forward until you cannot hide from the stink of it, then all falls back upon itself and all the numbers crunched up and digested by the shameless sociopathy of some faceman who knows only how to relax and calm nerves with a word or to of self-flattery and shoddy use of street science, yet unable to back up and continue to act like you know. Because you don’t know. 


I am saddened by the mayday affairs, oakland, 2012. But its of less significance to me than the battle against the lightbox we face in our homes, those of us who have homes.  For I believe in no greater cause than helping you, me and everyone everywhere, escape the savage and brutal addiction to this once marvel of engineering become luxury item become mass-produced producer of idiocy via artificial contrived morality tales to snakeskin sales pitch to fear-propragating political weaponry, become feng shui killbot 2000, become that which we must now look out for as gravity takes it from the arms of the desperate and suicidal multitudes who have lost all personal integrity and dignity and in reactionary thoughtfully thoughtless rage, find immediate end to all projected yet false happenings which have  made superfluous the very lifeblood flowing through them, to the sole singular purpose of pressing a few simple buttons to todays essential pseudo life-giving (soul stealing) contrivance or advertisement or other lobotomized offal better known to drainage pipes and sewer systems and other some such forgotten, abandoned, set away from human senses so as not to offend, offendors of our tentative and more than ever before gelatinous hold on society, culture, and inspirational zeitgeist! The television seduction.


So sorry, i have become transparent. No longer a scientist! Please forgive the tactic, and accept this editorial! We have come to this point of great desperation, my friends, and desperate times often require bold courage acts of great manipulation and redirect of whats left of sentient minds toward consciousness of our aims (which you must believe are also your aims!)…in all, to put down and destroy all record of TV and her clear drugging and brainwash and degradation and attempted genocide of hearts and minds on this earth (if not others). She is the queen of dark matter and starsuck and star-spitting violence beyond religion, power, politics, money, economy, and encompassing the universal mind and all its contents (that means basically, everything). And fyi, if you have no faith or reason to believe myself (seeing how i have hijacked your pleasant daily chosen readings), feel free to check out the facts and the truth. Check wikipedia for more info on what has become known (by me) as the predatory alpha sparing no culture, power sucking anti-consciousness devil of all devils! (That’s TV). Thank you, good people of planet earth. Any queries may be sent to myself at I may not respond to most or all of your queries or comments, but know that if you support this cause or agree with any of the aforementioned statements, you are certainly heard and known to me and all of my comrades fighting the good and only fight worth fighting, to take back our telelobotomized heads.