as life is life and living is living

as we watch the world go by and loved ones die as we look into the sky and wonder why. as we get over ourselves and live another day and go to bed after we pray. as we judge and condemn and smile and then we judge and condemn again and we smile and again we smile with our family with our friends. as the light offers ever new glimpses of the same familiar places and ever new plays on the same familiar faces as we see we see again and what we see we remark for its beauty as it is remarkable. and when the sun goes down soft yellow or new white lights illuminate our little private corners and spaces. in rooms in houses in woods do not go so deep anymore or do they. as we feel we feel stronger and better more encouraged as we feel we feel lost in our feeling or scared in our rooms in our homes in the not so deep so darkened woods. we pull the blankets closer. i will hold you really tight as you hold me really tight i will hold on to you and tell you i love you in a whisper and mean it. you will say nothing as we fall asleep this way as a trace of yellow light fogs up the hallway. you left the light on for me because you know my nightmares are less vicious in less than replete darkness. for whatever reason it does not matter. i set the coffee grounds in the maker and set the timer to brew the coffee at dawn for you. i may not wake when you do but if i do you may be certain i will arise to kiss and say goodbye to you.

pa·pier-mâ·ché

When i put forth the greatest of effort and try

then left all forlorn

with my why?

y-y-why?

 

When my eyes

see your eyes

and the eye lashes back

 

the honesty says

look away, now

love, look away

 

How I feel all alone

and your loneliness

too

 

i wish for your love

though there’s nothing to

do

 

i hate all my wishing

i hate all my hating

hate all my feelings

this way and that

 

hating you

hating me

 

and then

get quiet

all turn

to stone

 

Then come dark clouds, the fifty thousand dark shades

the long and dark nights, the endless dark days

 

my ears start to bleed

my sight starts to fail

in exchange for choice words 

my Latin

your Greek

 

choice merciless words

me to you to me speak

 

The storm in my head wants what happened, unreal

the turning over, my hands, what got stolen, not to steal

 

i stole from you steal from

away from us

now

 

the wall between rooms

made of pa·pier-mâ·ché some

how

 

How I would pull all apart! all the glue and the pulp

and i know you would, too! i swear this is

true

 

i will

Send out my linens now, white flags on the line

If only to know you were part, my design

 

i will

unshape the monsters, tie them with twine

with hair if i have to, to keep unrefined

all the hatred between us

the base

solid kind 

 

Above which we once drew our cottons, with care 

before they got soaked in all our red sea, phantasm glare

 

Imageunmoored

in the midnight dead sky

freshly fallen

lost love

 

Instead i am left to wonder what was

with this broken heart, because and because

 

surrounded by white flags

and my 

why why?

why whys

 

the tears

the wood floor

now dries

 

Soon to burn

in the hearth of my heart

down below

 

Knowing exactly

what i never wanted 

to know