storytelling

Book Two
Chapter 10
Part 1
In the last episode 2:9:5 the young Kell has a showdown with her uncles in the woods and speaks to the atrocities she has seen. The hardest most disturbing part is coming to grips with her own identity.

embrace your feedback loop

embracing your feedback loop parfait

There are days here and there where i really don’t care for myself, i mean, who i’ve become and what life has put me through does not appeal to any old romantic self imaginings. Thinking about it won’t change anything. All i can do is push on and try and kick ass today. Then i can feel good about myself. I wish you all the best, also, in embracing all of who you are, including the part of you that might be reclusive, antisocial, stubborn, emotional, scared, especially scared, lazy, unfriendly sometimes, even downright stupid or mean. So long as you go back and try to mend any harms. To yourself may you be a friend today. Push on and kick ass into tomorrow.

be the star you are the star you are the star

Let them discover you my sweetness my friend and be the star you are in this solar system holds a premium on light so all you gotta do is shine and you can but do not have to self-promote or boost or market yourself or your shining when all you gotta do is shine bright is be the star you are the star you are the star

ill see you in the light  xxo  K

pervasive sustainable organic sweetness

I was at a local cafe watching how friendly the barista was with everyone and me. She makes you feel like you have a personal connection, you feel loved. For women and kids (and a few men), she comes around the counter to give you a hug. I almost felt cheated to see that I was not the only one. How dare you love them like you love me. She put extra caramel in my macchiato, though, so I decided not to slap her face. She was tall and black and thin, and possibly transgender. Sweetness pervaded everything she touched. I trolled the bottoms of my cup with a straw to suck it up. I tried to listen to my friend who was monopolizing the conversation today. But I liked to listen to her, she was smart and funny, and I was tired of listening to the voices in my head. They weren’t very nice. Not today. They wanted me to know what a loser I am. They haunted me with the trainwreck of my past. More people came in and got more love. If it wasn’t for the caffeine and extra caramel, I would have made a scene. I could see they all thought they were special, too. Oh boy was I gonna put Sweetness on front street! My friend was talking about her husband and how he left his car unlocked and someone rifled through it and stole from him. She couldn’t understand how he could complain about it, when he was the one who left it unlocked. Apparently if you don’t secure yourself and your property in this world, you deserve to get jacked. I was not myself. I was more like a little bit of everyone around me. A little bit jaded. A little bit agitated. Even a little sweet. I needed to go out in the rain and get wet. Maybe I could imagine it was purifying me. I drove home enjoying the perfection of my new windshield wipers. Imagine life without windshield wipers. How exciting! You would have to roll down your window and poke your head out the side so you could see through your leather and glass goggles. When I got home, I stayed in and read the latest Stephen King book. Head candy. For breakfast I fried the eggs too long. All I could taste was the bacon and hot sauce. Someone blew someone up somewhere today. I heard a screeching scream and went out to see what was the matter. A gargantuan black cat was tormenting my kitten. Of course he took off when he saw me. Bully. I picked up my kitten and brought him inside. It’s okay, honey, you’re safe. That big mean old cat! If I could get my hands on him. I put my arms around him and kissed him on his spine and face. I smoothed out his fur and talked to him. Sweetness. If only we could all stay there for awhile. In our own pervasive sustainable organic sweetness.

storytelling

Maze 2:9:1 

Book Two
Chapter 9
Part 1
In the last episode 2:8:4  Kell moves into the Imperial with Bless and Freddy and they all celebrate by going bowling together. Bless overlooks her competitive instinct and lets Kell and Ame win a round.

the crime scene is permanent

Her great eyes fall on us

while we are looking

the medium
the monster

we give our all
to thank her
for the ocean

lackluster commentary
washes up on the shore

the droppings
of opinion
hit and run
hit and run

the crime scene
is permanent

she spreads us
lost and luster
thin sometimes

in a minute hand’s
wide circling
lenient spin
sometimes

we do it
to ourselves

the hours
artfully wasted
the body
hardly moves

text necking in our photo
editing booths

manipulating
the age off our faces

pixel worship
while life gets scarier
out there

help me
i have forgotten
what’s real

i don’t wanna regret
all this screen time
like some washed up
porn star

even that
must be real

god let me fall back
laughing in your arms

at a bar
at a laundromat
smoking reds

caring