test flick gnash

i was going about my day with

the best intentions the

squirrels started to chatter told me

all kinds of things none of which were true

gnawing on acorns leaving shells

scattered around my mind

 

i was gonna have to sweep and mop

convinced i was no good

the world a terrible place

 

i found a nice tree to sit under

for a spell i

lay my head back butterflied my arms out

closed my eyes

prayed for several days. the squirrels

they finally jumped

out from the crown

clung to the tree testing

their little claws flicking

their puffy tails

gnashing their teeth they

took off chasing into the high branches

 

when i finally stood

my thoughts were peaceful

friendly. you

gotta make the most of what

you got

 

i gnashed my teeth

and tested back

+ a flash +

they are falling in love
they are working
they are raising the children
from south carolina
to china
the sun looks the same
the moon looks the same
from hong kong to warsaw
they worship the same gods
under different names
drink the same wine
the stars appear
no different
only the moment makes
history
the diverse feelings arise and fall
beneath the diverse flags
we come and go like
the wind

day 12

pandemic 2020 day 12

March 29
Global cases = 679,000
USA = 125,000
Sacramento = 164E (3.27)

I realized yesterday not all of California’s counties are updating numbers daily. Sacramento and Los Angeles are only providing accurate infection numbers every 3 days. The covid19 transmits through saliva so those little paper masks people wear apparently are useless, as they attract and absorb saliva droplets. I also realize that in grocery stores (where the aisles are not very wide and the goods are essential) people are almost accidentally disobeying the CDC recommendations. Example would be acquaintances running into one another within one aisle and trying to cognitively assess the exact distance between them while simultaneously being fully present and compassionate with a fellow human being they may not have seen in a while. We have a natural inclination (which we must now fight) to abide by our life long training in social standards! So it takes a real conscious effort to distance ourselves at ALL times from others by 6 feet or more. The best way to make this happen is spontaneous communication. Listen, we care about one another so let’s be sure: are we six feet away right now? Find your own chosen words and start using them. The two navy hospital ships have now situated themselves on the respective coasts. Mercy on the Pacific (Los Angeles) and Comfort on the Atlantic (NYC). Governor Cuomo is fighting Trump to keep his state from being quarantined, and has described this in language which hearkens back to the Civil War! This would be a declaration of war against the state of New York. As of this morning, Trump has backed off the quarantine. They say such an order would only cause pandemonium as residents of New York would likely start to flee the state. Once again, Democracy as a political system is a funny thing. Any leader has to take into account peoples mobility and, like the stock market, has to take the pulse of public sentiment, which is often a far cry from fact. You have to legislate with people’s feelings in mind, because you only have so much influence over them. Personally, I wouldn’t want it any other way.
dear friends, if you wish to follow all of my pandemic diary posts, please visit my website https://www.katyamills.com  if you think i should keep posting them on K IS SILENT please leave me a comment and let me know! stay safe  ❤  Katya

csus

california state university. sacramento. i got lost on the campus again, after dark. asked for directions no less than three times. i know why they call it eureka hall. the moment i found it i felt that way. the kids were packed in the classroom, florence gave me a big smile and i took my place on the panel. the three stories came before mine were nothing short of inspirational. i hoped my truth could keep the spirit alive. about halfway through my story i found the pulse. the faces began to light up. these are difficult memories to draw. i told them how i owed forgiveness to my dearly departed cat. around 2001 Raccoon turned on me and slashed me in the face with his claws. that’s when i knew what an asshole i had become, deep in the heart of addiction.

luke.warm

i saw you and spoke to you and you gave me a lukewarm response. you were with a friend and preoccupied. i was on another mission. i hope you know i care about you. i was trying to say so with my eyes. you have been through some fire. being a social worker is a lucky way to live. they find you [or you them], in their darkness, and you have a chance to make a meaningful difference. then you detach and they become just another star in the firmament, and all you gotta do is look around to see the ones who made it, and they light up your life.