death of a comedian

one of my favorite comedians 

made me extremely sad for the first time ever

by dying

i watched reruns of his shows

and laughed and laughed so hard i cried

but then i got confused

was i crying from the dying?

it does not matter because he was great

and i miss him


raccoon (dogs)

chased out of China 

they made it West in shipping containers

up the deep water channel

into our city

the artful ones escaped the ports

dodged cars into yards

only to face their distant cousin

the American raccoon

who welcomed them 

with gnashing teeth

to living hell


three years on

pain has many flavors

in the spine it’s like cayenne simmered in a chamomile bath

three years on it’s still hard to relax

the pandemic almost buried us all

now i take my key 

striking out to see friends


set 4 self destruct

my life was self destruct set into slow motion

my tailor drug and drink

subgenre rebellion 

in the age of deconstruction

the undercurrent identity

for it would never be okay 

to not be who i knew 

i was



you talk of eradicating our rights you

lost touch with reality

you have mothers brothers sisters nephews

daughters and sons who identify

yet you still disbelieve? 

you sleep but never dream

your hatred your brand your kind cannot last

we will always exist 


even steven

they don’t really know what they
are doing

forgot all the things you said
to help them understand

the sun will shine again
your honey will love you
through anything

and when you put on your uniform
and go to work

all will even out
like cream stirred into


don’t know where or why or how

we broke off into cliques

saturated in our societal relations


writing off half 

the damn world

i became an individual again

somewhere i don’t know how or why 

without closure 


looking in


go fish

back home 

staining they sketchpads with inks

up all night alone they would not buy the lies for free

misfit friends in they head. loner celebration

extinguished the tv and touched the room with radio

they cast they line 

deep and trolled for broken




our senses gone

an unbroken dawn 

cracks and poaches its whites by the sea

the folding of time into the sun and elements 

overexposed the same

no one to blame 

adventure magnificent and tragic 

we will never love like that 



different now

now i am having the adverse reaction to tv. i am different from you. now restless in the sleep. now pursuing some dream. now i am indifferent, locked without key. now sitting still. meditating. what looks like peace… it is an illusion