im a yarn ball rolling
under the door and out into the sun
im less complicated
they only need me when its cold im
less arrogant than u see i dont
know nothin i got holes in me cuz
im unlearnin stuff
#katyamills
Tag Archives: write
killing on 43rd ave
they sweep and mop they
stock shelves they
ring you up at the register they
deal with all american
attitude. we call it the graveyard
shift for good reason last
week they left one to bleed
out for some
change. god rest your very
soul
#katyamills
worlds
a great pond formed at the point
there where they gathered for tales
had been told. all had gone quiet
the fireflies formulating a slow beat of light
the pond dried up all its ink seeped into
the paper earth. another word another
world would never be
#katyamills
some days harder than others
express yourself
may the pain be
dispelled
b
unlike who you
are and what
you do
you cannot trust what
you think what
you feel
to be real
water air prayer
i seem to always be working on the residuals of my mental illness, sweeping them up and out of my life. this is a maintenance thing, i mean, i have to radically accept the eternal presence of anxiety and depression. they no longer stop me from living my life like they did before (and after) i got clean, six and half years back. yet they are like a snake and threaten to constrict. i have to maintain and keep building. thank god i have a career that enriches me. i have a home and can cook my own food. i have my health and no longer take psych meds. the recollections of traumas have subsided though they sometimes resurface in nightmares and an uneasy mistrustful and guarded relationship with both internal and external worlds. i am working on self-discipline. my stress levels fluctuate but are more manageable when i eat healthy and exercise and stretch. life demands mindfulness. i am drinking more of water and air and prayer. i am devoting more time to reading and writing. i read at night, before bed. on weekdays i get up before dawn and write, more and more frequently. it is hard to build the life you wanna live but it sure is worthwhile.
