killing on 43rd ave

they sweep and mop they 

stock shelves they 

ring you up at the register they

deal with all american 

attitude. we call it the graveyard

shift for good reason last

week they left one to bleed

out for some 

change. god rest your very

soul

#katyamills

worlds

a great pond formed at the point 

there where they gathered for tales

had been told. all had gone quiet 

the fireflies formulating a slow beat of light

the pond dried up all its ink seeped into 

the paper earth. another word another 

world would never be  

#katyamills

water air prayer

i seem to always be working on the residuals of my mental illness, sweeping them up and out of my life. this is a maintenance thing, i mean, i have to radically accept the eternal presence of anxiety and depression. they no longer stop me from living my life like they did before (and after) i got clean, six and half years back. yet they are like a snake and threaten to constrict. i have to maintain and keep building. thank god i have a career that enriches me. i have a home and can cook my own food. i have my health and no longer take psych meds. the recollections of traumas have subsided though they sometimes resurface in nightmares and an uneasy mistrustful and guarded relationship with both internal and external worlds. i am working on self-discipline. my stress levels fluctuate but are more manageable when i eat healthy and exercise and stretch. life demands mindfulness. i am drinking more of water and air and prayer. i am devoting more time to reading and writing. i read at night, before bed. on weekdays i get up before dawn and write, more and more frequently. it is hard to build the life you wanna live but it sure is worthwhile.