s.mode

There will be those times no matter how well you have prepared when you experience hardship. stay calm and faithful to your work. do not be afraid to ask for help. every hour of hardship is worth fifty hours of contentment. on the other side of s.mode, may you find your spirit renewed.

third

3

the third was full of frisbees and soaring like a bird. oils were dripping and smoke was rising, the links were hot as hell. when they discovered water in the park bubbling up from a pipe, the kids made ample use of it. everyone and everything within a hundred yards got wet, except the birds. soon it would be labor day and no one wanted to work but i was ready. i felt i could handle just about anything. the full moon was coming. so long as you got out there and under it, illumination was certain.

a night like tonight

a night like tonight (tales of a custodial engineer)

I have some math in my head, jamaican jerk chicken in my belly and some love in my heart tonight, still the goddam technology is orbiting around the head tryin to draw the attention. I am fighting the urge to escape to that flashy instant fix place where even death is kept alive. Hashtag rest in peace. The hemp coconut milk I drown my shredded wheats in tastes like some exotic curry on ice, but I drink it all down so I can have the energy to make it through my custodial engineering position several miles from home and half of them highway. The interns are turning over this month and the place is repositioned to provide for non-matching contributions. The fireworks are over but the fire’s still burning inside. My self-discipline is plus or minus 300 milligrams of neurontin and several helpings of frozen vegetables. I am gonna write this damn book, okay, just give me a minute. There’s nothing else I can fall in love with on a night like tonight.

Dandelions

Journal # 04.02.15

(originally posted on http://www.katyamills.com)

The onus was on the wind to carry the dandelion seeds to the earth.The onus was on the rain to push the seeds into the soil.The onus was on the earth worms to stir the soil.The onus was on the nutrients in the soil to warm and hatch the dandelion out of its seed.The onus was on the dandelion to make its way to break into light.The onus was on the sun to give the little dandelion the strength to rise up and awaken into a new world.The onus was on the man to feed his children. The onus was on the woman. The onus was on the town to provide something to do. The man was hired to wake up before dawn on sweltering summer days. He slammed his fist down on the alarm clock on the carpet under the couch. The television was local static. Not even the infomercials were up at this ungodly hour. The blanket had moth holes in it and had not done a good job keeping him warm. The eight bottles of Molson Golden made up the difference. He was still intoxicated. He broke out the Yuban and spilled it out onto the formica. Half of it landed in the coffee filter splayed out like a cotton bleached sunflower. He grabbed it up by its edges and tossed it into the coffee maker. The hard pharmaceutically enhanced, chlorinated tap water blasted into the pot so he almost dropped it into the basin. Seven of his beer bottles were in there. The other was on the coffee table by the couch, half full of warm beer.

Half a pot of coffee brought his buzz back. Worked nicely with the pastry against the lingering effect of alcohol. This would get him through half the morning okay. He fired up the mower then stepped aside for a moment. He took a shallow breath and lit a cigarrette. He looked out across the acre lot ahead of him. The damn thing was like a meadow of gold. Dandelions. Fucking dandelions. He couldn’t wait to annihilate them all!

faith

all i wanted was nothing i needed
when wanting
my need
superceded

i was told life is work
i was taught to work hard

i never knew faith

i thought
to control

even the sun
had to learn
without spin
the earth burn

even the sun
cannot control
all it made
all it touched
verdant spring
so inspired

even the sun
needs some faith
every night
to surrender
every night
we remember

every life
owes a debt
toward the sun

every morning
when the light comes
every life
looks up

to credit
the sun
its creation

far away
from me now

may my blood
sweat and tears
be the same
so my needs
my want
supercedes

without it
the darkness
eternally
leads