they saw the man who attacked them in aisle 6 at Safeway
knee deep in fashion mags
unable to diminish the intrusions by breathing and affirmations
they grounded through the senses
a butterscotch lifesaver
#katyamills
they saw the man who attacked them in aisle 6 at Safeway
knee deep in fashion mags
unable to diminish the intrusions by breathing and affirmations
they grounded through the senses
a butterscotch lifesaver
#katyamills
watching the many screens
killing the endless hours and
they say there’s a heart in your chest
i don’t remember and they say
there’s thoughts in your skull
i don’t know. but it’s better
to be numb than feel
#katyamills
thoughts. sift through them for the ones will give you strength to face another day. the venom from traumas is pure and lethal. 😵 when dizzy you can sometimes dance but not always
i bought a glue gun
spread the pieces out on the coffee table to connect them
the traumas they ruptured my memories
then walking around town the questions were flying
where did you get such a lovely coat? how much did it cost?
trust me it’s more than you are willing
to pay
#katyamills
rarely to never at a loss for words
i find it kinda funny. must be a distant cousin
of trauma. i laugh out loud
in the company of strangers
#katyamills
the days unsparingly dull
then when they lay down to rest
the dreams like a thriller
replete with all the life they could not have
encouraged to be somebodys
project dependent and broken they
sometimes forgot
the best about them
self what was 4 keeps
#katyamills
you cannot know them
sealed inside an envelope they
will cut you like paper they
are shredded beyond repair
you wish you could reach them you
wish to have them for tea
locked inside a trauma they
will cut you by accident they
are secretive. precise with words
senseless must they be
alone
#katyamills
i am walking home before midnight
the city crackles with explosives the
heaviest ones shake the ground and
resound against the pop pop pop the
whistling with definite small caliber
gunfire shot off by the rebels
among us. the powder and sulfur
permeates the heat my old traumas
are resurfacing the anxiety is only adrenaline
lit like a fuse. you cannot cancel the fourth
of july. the wonderment in kids faces beneath the bloom
a full moon. ascending receding
block after block. the river the
only stillness tonight. its reflection
captures my imagination
#katyamills
i had to learn how to live all over again, after the trauma. i didn’t completely lose my ability to write or speak or communicate, but it did something to my nervous system, and i could not think clearly. my thought process was fragmented and tangential. my moods stood me up and walked me into altercations. my thoughts put on a show, racing recklessly into the night. i lived this way for several years. 7 years later i am doing well. i am calm and charged and can talk to anyone and look you in the eye. i am not easily triggered into fight or flight or freeze. i give thanks. i dedicate my life to communicating some hope to those who feel hopeless in the world.
why you were left alone so long only the spinning world would know. by now. you know it hurts looking back. you made friends easy and what friends. a formula for trouble and trouble looks like anything but trouble at first.