the kid was cold. damn cold. they already had three layers what with an undershirt, a tee shirt, and a hoodie. they wanted to adjust the thermostat but it was off limits. to save money is why, they reminded themselves, i guess i will have to put on a parka. they did exactly that, and ran around the apartment building exactly 4 times. the old lady was out there with the old man. the old man shouted some words of encouragement on the second lap. their breath rose towards the clouds. the old lady clapped through her mittens. they put their arms in the air and made fists in the sky.

them (us)

Union. Ivy. blueblood. aristocracy. old money. brownstone townhouses. this my inheritance.  lakes region retreats. soft, sensitive, privileged big feet. don’t require a crosswalk to get across the street. just a cashmere wrapped waist of floral watercolors would arrest them. skidding to a stop to let them pass by. i guess to let us pass by. nobody could replace them. nobody could replace us. in the history books all over the many and diverse states of america, no uprising, uproar nor campaign could erase them. erase us. not now, atleast.

So privileged yet diminished was i, young, with a voice not yet heard, and when heard, silenced often if not quickly. youngest of my tribe, i would need evocative presentation to capture their imagination. early on i learned needed to grip their hearts with fear. not only would i come out liberal, i would also come out like fluid on identity continuums.

Halloween? easily my favorite of holidays all year. tp the trees. smashing pumpkins all over the place.  stealing candy left out in trays by out-of-towners.  upscale hoods. haunted houses get egged. fake cemeteries. blindfolded with hands in spaghetti in popcorn bowls we took for nightcrawlers. for goodness grace. i took it all in, the freaks in the streets. the costumes. on any other day, the question would confront me. Why or how was i so out of place?

add infinitum, subtract perpetuity

There was something (nondescript perhaps) imminent. The humans knew this much. The animals knew more. The plants belonged. The earth produced. The liquid underearth strata created this nondescript something imminent. All we humans got on our sentient radar was imminence. So issues of much less importance trumped(and trumped easily) this great and possibly horrible imminent situation.  The animals tried to give us the dl down low hello.  Then, when the time had come, scurried and leapt to low ground and away from us.

We were certainly high on something or another. Chemical romance. Oxytocin. Norepinephrine firing like fresh clean oiled and polished cannon balls barreling towards some forgotten target. High on whatever we want so bad we must get get get! The animals strategic movement was benign unremarkable herd drift. Maybe a couple of Britishand Norwegian migration trackers packed up and left home with docudrama on their minds and euros in their funded pockets. They just preferred to spend three quarters of the year away from all humanity as well. Their occupations afforded them an easy excuse.

photo and edit by katya

the imminence

Some called them spiritual. Some called them famished. Either way, whatever was about to happen was not to be anticipated by any of us, no matter their rank, IQ, gender, sexual orientation, race, attitude, level of curiosity, ability to regulate emotional lability, nature, continuum of looks (ie beautiful to cannot look), allostasis (areas of life failure to keep balance in the graphic equalizer of experience).

For suddenly like a shift in winds, all of them vaulted up the grassy hills rising up either side of the valley.  They peaked the crest of the ridge, and remained awaiting encrypted instructions under the appropriate sky signed authority. Cloaking had been activated, with coordinates unknown and unreported and otherwise….never happened, aka Unreleased from and to perpetuity, subtract infinitum.