12.17

I wanna hold on to that little bit of joy that comes over me like a mist on a foggy morning, I am wet with it, a taste of clarity of wholeness as if all my past is right here with me and I could take you through my eyes to any given moment, yes, come after a really good night’s sleep so rare, or maybe if I run a few miles really hard and fast as I can, I can get that special feeling like all is well, the future has no stake in it, when in the empire the interest rates begin climbing, from the base of Denali after stasis, after a decade of descent… what does it matter for my heart also ascends up Mount St. Elias and into my head for a second, tethered to a wild pack of neurotransmitters in the Cortex ravine by well placed stakes and caribeners, awaiting the next big storm will send me in a rush flying to another death, my adrenaline  drizzled over the top of Mount Foraker only to get hit by the sun a couple days later and reborn, over Endocrine valley where the estrogen in me highlights the tips in the alpine meadow, under a cobalt blue, and my spirit summits Mount Blackburn for to see all the way to Canada and to you, our memories collide for past lives, within a life, covering all 16,237 feet of Mount Sanford, yes, and I want to cry then but my joy prevents me, and you gotta believe I wanna hold on to this feeling, I wanna stay here cause I like to believe it was a lot of work to get here to where the vision rewards me, atop Mount Fairweather I can see you and me so clearly and maybe not picturesque but we know where we stand. Sure maybe I don’t know you anymore and can honestly ask you who the hell are you anymore? even if it hurts I just have to ask. Because beyond all the wonder I felt in meeting you in this world in this life, well, we are past that now, aren’t we? I sure as hell wish you were here with me again, to feel it too… the life of love survives beyond the love affair and into a stirring night alone into a dawn on the side of any mountain carry me away.

come on. december

Oh happy bedraggled

holy days

of three-legged canines

a-hopping behind

humans

Small yet mighty

effort in the rain

We broke the yolk

on eggnog lattes

the last day

of November

Broke the bank

of well-wishes

one day shy of dear

December

Come on, December

come on, now make me cry

you sure aren’t what you once were

when i was a child

And you. And you. And you

may you have

what i have not

Simple ordinary days

i share with you

leftover turkey in

the pot

Happiness? abundance?

I really hope they are!

If it helps

i can sing some xmas songs

on my guitar

For those left in the margins

i will turn it up a notch

awash in lonely visions

drowned in single malt

scotch

it is you whom i believe in!

my extra-ordinary bees!

it is to you my prayers go out while

down

upon my knees

Keep busy pushing visions

upon the streets tonight!

keep faith. keep faith. keep faith

everything comes out the wash

all right

I will be beside you

making colors!

out my mind!

With faith

we face the void

together

Though apart…

you are always

in my heart

being single. source

Watching girls and boys and men and women and pandas and squirrels couple off and fall in love can be hard when you’re single

At the café
In the park
In school
At the zoo

Writing is falling in love with the world and the words and the laughter before and after the immediate presence of god i mean source