no longer could they be held
the most lonesome note you ever heard
drifted off the deepest bottom of a breath
the first hours walking the streets
searching for a place to call home
#katyamills
Tag Archives: solitude
loner
they called you a loner they
thought of you
weak
every day of the week god
given to seek
solitude
made mainstream look
shady
#katyamills
butane hill
alone i faced the wind
above the trees blowing
in my hands sheltering the
laughing blue life of
fire
#katyamills
reading #246
12.17
I wanna hold on to that little bit of joy that comes over me like a mist on a foggy morning, I am wet with it, a taste of clarity of wholeness as if all my past is right here with me and I could take you through my eyes to any given moment, yes, come after a really good night’s sleep so rare, or maybe if I run a few miles really hard and fast as I can, I can get that special feeling like all is well, the future has no stake in it, when in the empire the interest rates begin climbing, from the base of Denali after stasis, after a decade of descent… what does it matter for my heart also ascends up Mount St. Elias and into my head for a second, tethered to a wild pack of neurotransmitters in the Cortex ravine by well placed stakes and caribeners, awaiting the next big storm will send me in a rush flying to another death, my adrenaline drizzled over the top of Mount Foraker only to get hit by the sun a couple days later and reborn, over Endocrine valley where the estrogen in me highlights the tips in the alpine meadow, under a cobalt blue, and my spirit summits Mount Blackburn for to see all the way to Canada and to you, our memories collide for past lives, within a life, covering all 16,237 feet of Mount Sanford, yes, and I want to cry then but my joy prevents me, and you gotta believe I wanna hold on to this feeling, I wanna stay here cause I like to believe it was a lot of work to get here to where the vision rewards me, atop Mount Fairweather I can see you and me so clearly and maybe not picturesque but we know where we stand. Sure maybe I don’t know you anymore and can honestly ask you who the hell are you anymore? even if it hurts I just have to ask. Because beyond all the wonder I felt in meeting you in this world in this life, well, we are past that now, aren’t we? I sure as hell wish you were here with me again, to feel it too… the life of love survives beyond the love affair and into a stirring night alone into a dawn on the side of any mountain carry me away.
solitude.15
I like to be alone
it is no perversion
solitude makes me
one with
trees
come on. december
Oh happy bedraggled
holy days
of three-legged canines
a-hopping behind
humans
Small yet mighty
effort in the rain
We broke the yolk
on eggnog lattes
the last day
of November
Broke the bank
of well-wishes
one day shy of dear
December
Come on, December
come on, now make me cry
you sure aren’t what you once were
when i was a child
And you. And you. And you
may you have
what i have not
Simple ordinary days
i share with you
leftover turkey in
the pot
Happiness? abundance?
I really hope they are!
If it helps
i can sing some xmas songs
on my guitar
For those left in the margins
i will turn it up a notch
awash in lonely visions
drowned in single malt
scotch
it is you whom i believe in!
my extra-ordinary bees!
it is to you my prayers go out while
down
upon my knees
Keep busy pushing visions
upon the streets tonight!
keep faith. keep faith. keep faith
everything comes out the wash
all right
I will be beside you
making colors!
out my mind!
With faith
we face the void
together
Though apart…
you are always
in my heart
being single. source
Watching girls and boys and men and women and pandas and squirrels couple off and fall in love can be hard when you’re single
At the café
In the park
In school
At the zoo
Writing is falling in love with the world and the words and the laughter before and after the immediate presence of god i mean source
K IS SILENT 