how sorry you are

the rain fell ona slant and i imagined they were all my tears i could not bear to cry. i raised my face to the wind and felt the sheets strike my skin. i stayed outside all morning long with you, reading the paper. we drank coffee without any intention other than to be helpful. lord knows we had once been thoughtless and unkind. you make mistakes. you demand more of people, places and things than you ask of yourselves. now i wanna grab hold and empty life of all its discontents. someone expects an apology outta you, and hunts you down. they may never know how sorry you are. the remainder of life, pushing and pulling those notifications, needled with predicate .coms and .orgs. comradery relocated to social media. if we subscribed it would be too soon… gimme the shelter of the rising sun, full moon. all these things we hope to have eternal, here and gone, then come again… to the faithful, pulled and pushed in the tug-of-war of a life. how sorry you are proclaimed deep space, to the star.

Oddity #5

I was grown from the earth, in my mother whose very life depended on the earth, the vegetables pushing out of mineral soil.

I faced the sun gave life to the plants, like another plant was i. For when the sun fell, again and again i found my head down in the dark, gaze to the ground, eyelashes a flutter then clasped shut for the night.

Many a fire came over my soul, burning through all of my being. For a time, as a child, they tried to put me out. Still i burned. Incendiary. Until natural i burned myself out.

Only the rain that emboldened the soil to create its next wonder, could put out our fires.

Like a period puts out a sentence.
Like a woman puts out a candle.
Like a man puts out a hunger.

Like poetry and prayer extinguish the thirst.

alchemy and rain

The rain came yesterday, and washed away all the oil and grime. Washed away what had collected into a film,  all summer long. Off the streets and off my mind. And maybe yours. I was having trouble with my thinking, and trouble with my voice. I was feeling disconnected. Until the rain came. Yesterday.

The rain came down nice and hard, yesterday. Processed the film, and exposed it to light. Washed my mind clean of all the residue: the little resentments, the fears, the flashbacks, the trauma. The nicotine and the sugar. The commercial jingles. The internet trolls. The haters. The dogs. The voyeurs. The pigs. The pretenders. The cravings. And all the other petty little troubles that were weighing on me. All summer long. 

September rain. And boy, did it rain! For about ten minutes, there was nothing else happening. Everything stopped, and everyone stopped to listen to the rainfall. Here in Sacramento. The best ten minutes all the day long. Sacred.

The rain fall was sacred. And I looked into my kittens eyes, reflected off the rain. And they, into mine. We were all curious and smiling, and maybe you, too. The rain gave my kittens the best ten minutes of their young lives. Their first rain. My kittens gave me fresh eyes, to see.  

The rain washed away the trouble in the world. I saw it. I saw my troubles and maybe yours, stream down the gutters and out into the street. Away, away, away. I heard all the noise, all summer long, go under. The noise. I saw it drown. The noise from the advertisements, in television and radio jingles. The noise from the images, too. Moving away, away, away.

The rain fell hard, yesterday. I swear I saw it! I heard it! And all our troubles were washed away. And then the rain was gone, like it never came at all. And humidity set in, because the air was full of moisture. To keep our world honest. To keep our world sacred. To help our spirits, and all of life.

And earlier today, almost 24 hours later… the sweet memory of it all dropped. Dropped from my senses, right deep into my heart. And my heart dialed up this message, and sent it back into the airwaves. Postage prepaid, with insurance.

The rain. I love the rain. And how it fills up my spirit. And fills up the air. Then somehow mysteriously, in that alchemical process… flows back to source.