we were in the hall, many strenuous faces all about. here and there one was found pacing, another breathing deeply through the nose, another actually fell to their knees for a prayer. outside a crowd had gathered, shoving and yelling, and someone had got behind the security and climbed the roof by a rope. her voice was punctuated by the underlying emotions like a sky pressured, holding weather, letting the first bursts of rain. you don’t know how long it can carry before it breaks. we were listening through the walls yet thinking of ourselves. there were people shaking fences and fists in the air. one could only be touched by the energy and i was, too. beneath all the emotion, the anger, the efforts to draw attention no matter the cost, i saw a movement that reminded me of my past. i had fought for a similar cause in my own life. if only we could open these doors and open our arms! collect that energy, i dreamed, like water in a reservoir, and come to terms, and put it toward our mission!
i woke to voices sung high in some distant land. they touched into my subconscious and drew me headlong into the world to carry out this mission. to build a creature of feathers and cotton and infuse it with such love that, when called upon by a touch of the paw, it may invoke these celestial notes, opening its half-sewn mouth for to give us all we need to go on another day.
I live inside a certain closed system wherein one is not trusted, one is held accountable to high standards which are enforced relentlessly by teams chosen based on work ethic and other high quality merit marks, to oversee the delivery of services to the general public. Sometimes I question my decision to live there for it is not always a friendly place. What I love is how I am challenged and pushed to my limits, and not one day ever looks like the next. It is an exciting and dynamic environment, and because I have earned rank and respect over time, I do have freedoms and work is creative. I care for my team and am mostly aligned with the mission.
I am on a mission to find reality. I won’t find it in my phone or in the dark. I cannot find it alone, nor in a crowded park. I step into my jeans my boots my leather jacket pulled around my hoodie. Here behind the wheel, eyes open and coffee steaming at my lip, waiting for this old train to pass through town, exhaust smoking in the cool morning air. A smile pulls over my face cuz I know I am real with you. Yesterday we ran. Today I’m gonna break out the draft of my book and mark it up somethin’ fierce. What is real? We are. We are real.