these heavy feelings
when i lack the strength to care
set upon me
kneeling there
they cannot stop my breath
from breathing my chest
from heaving
like an animal hunted
facing them i
stare
#katyamills
these heavy feelings
when i lack the strength to care
set upon me
kneeling there
they cannot stop my breath
from breathing my chest
from heaving
like an animal hunted
facing them i
stare
#katyamills
the mortgage was due
the phone the electric and credit cards
the mercury rising we hit the store early
for milk and eggs and the happy baguette
i heard a song in the store and started singing
along. a memory slipped away like a seal
off the pier deep into
the bay
#katyamills
the wind howling in the winter. the road winding around the lake. the red barn with white trim. the icy stream and snow. we gathered around your pot belly stove for warmth. it’s memorial day. though i am too far from New Hampshire to lay flowers on your grave, i am thinking of you. the hot cocoa. your wicked laughter. #katyamills
listening deep into the night to the radio
reports from Poland Romania Moldova
the only invasion i know
by ants after a heavy rain
the only shells i know
pasta. the only oppressor
bad memories and nightmares
and an occasional ignorant
other
#katyamills
1:11am. macrobid wages war
in the gut. i wake startled eyes
bloodshot hair reaching up and back
a victoria crowned pigeon i
audit yesterday. submit my findings 2
the memory bank and retire at dawn
floating prayers off the balcony
to my dear colleague
in the ICU
#katyamills
fentanyl hit the spleen
overdose became mainstream you
lost so many friends and legends and the sun still rises
the light still wakes you under
your angel hair cabbage you
formulate a mission you play with memory you
love and live on
and on
and on
#katyamills
what i would give
these memories to
reclaim how our
hearts beat the
same
#katyamills
the bottom of a well i
kept drinking. archival footage
slowly sinking flash drive
memory
many moods
like sound
i’m thinking
take the drive for a
ride to the river. bait it ona hook
cast it out to the mouth
of a bass
#katyamills
why you were left alone so long only the spinning world would know. by now. you know it hurts looking back. you made friends easy and what friends. a formula for trouble and trouble looks like anything but trouble at first.