i am juxtaposed
they look at me funny
i am bleached they are normal
in some abnormal
psychology
i dive into the earth
so i can grow only
they shoot me down
again
i am a goner
unless…
by some betrayal
of darkness i rise
teeth first to speak
my heart
relentlessly
#katyamills
my nails grow so fast
they will push you out of bed
they said. you won’t even recognize me
this november unless you feel
light
#katyamills
oh the dawn when all thats wrong
in the world made right
the light come even into the sky
i could stay with you here for ever
and ever. been so long since it rained i
think im gonna cry #katyamills
under cover
of darkness
my lover
of light
made even
a storm front
bright
try me on a winter morning
try me in the fall
try me when your heart is yearning
something so familiar
what you thought was gone
what if it returned to you?
like some forgotten song
catching you unexpected
barefoot on the tile
sunlight meets the
shadow
god
its been
a while
one day you woke up feeling lighter. this was different. this was hope. it made no sense and could not be denied. the following day it was gone. the light was shining and the birds were singing but all you saw and heard was dead again. what stood out for you now was the recollection of yesterday’s hope, wanting another taste of that. so you got out of bed a little earlier. you saw the slightest smile at the edges of your lips in the mirror. you were able to sing some morose song by the Cure in your head.
–Â Katya Mills, 2019
when dawn came I got myself up and hit the street. you know you’re blessed when all what’s inside you — all your thoughts and feelings stirred together into a psychosocial paste — has the same consistency as a cool and placid sunday morning, touched by sound and light
finite articulated outlined forms
are no longer sacred. they may be one thing today
and another, tomorrow.
our love is murky we cannot see the bottom.
the light takes on form, passing through.
my love for you is imperfect. overcast.
it never changes.
we can touch the sky.
K IS SILENT 