i was killing someone off in my book today. in the library sitting at a table reserved for teens and no teens around just books. it was awfully quiet. i like it that way, my killing floor. nobody would suspect anything. i have been meeting more people, and they aren’t turnin me off lately. i almost wanna meet another one today. very unlike me. maybe it’s the weather. maybe it’s because i got my hair done, my eyesight fixed, and my teeth drilled. i am about to paint my nails for the author festival on sunday. i plan to meet a lot of other murderers, i mean authors. we usually look so sweet at face value. we can take your attributes and turn you into monsters. what would happen if your families fell apart slowly? don’t worry. we will put them back together. you won’t look the same but you will be made of many pieces and cool to look at like a glass mosaic. it’s therapeutic. can i sign that for you? you see my blood red nail polish. go somewhere and read me from a safe distance
Life was gonna be painful for a morning dove whose call was so random and throaty and pure only hours before my tigers took him out. what was left of life was gonna be painful then surreal then blurry, then over. i imagine euphoria takes over in the end, when defenceless one’s life force rushes to heal. life is bloody and open wide and clawed at. attacked from all sides. in the midst of a glorious spring morning. the dew has burned off and the day becomes sharp and direct and furious when you’re caught by those who were born to hunt you down. actually they meant you no harm. they just do what they do. it’s the same the world over. impersonal. intimate. euphoric. terribly violent and sad. ever changing. renewed. life.
|beat up by life? K by K|
Let life just beat you up the way it does. When a flower stretches up out of the soil, it’s growth lends itself to danger. When you were just a seed and just a bud germinating underground, in your mommas belly, you were pretty safe. Once you grow up you’re liable to get stepped on, mowed down, picked, torn asunder. People kill beautiful things pretty well. We put them in vases, we crush them behind glass.
This culture this world is suffering an overabundance and equally lacking. I cannot tell you why because it’s too much to hold! Are you like me and one cheerio shy of an oh my god what the fukk is going on? The asphalt just imprisoned my garden. Our secrets will never be safe.
Lemme go deeper. Into those places where you feel you make sense. Spend more time with friends, more time creating, add a little family and kittens to the mix. The strongest connection oughta be the one you have with yourself, your spirit, and whatever releases you from your ego, humbles you, makes you small enough to relax into the systemic. Some call it god and i don’t mind either. We all need somewhere to extend our child.
Stay your beautiful self
Don’t let them kill you
Then let them…
Die another day. The sensation of coffee down your gullet. Wear yourself out with your kids, your work, your monotonous chores. Go off to social sunsets and live to see another day.
The sunrise will feel better if your aching into it, arthritis summons compassion for self. Asthma summons compassion for yourself. Panic Attacks leave you hugging yourself. Fevers bring your attention to your self. Heart attacks make you focus on caring for your heart. Strokes make you remember how to learn. Cancer makes you grateful. HIV gets you pushing for your dreams to come true. Depression makes you stronger. Anxiety gets you to relax.
I will hold your spirit over here. Carefully.
Will you hold mine? You don’t have to. I can just hold yours.
Expect nothing outta anyone
Expect greatness out of everyone
and yourself. You star
Accept yourself. Love yourself. Grow up and
Show people your colors. They will grab you.
They will not believe you. They will argue and you will suffer them, too.
They will suffer you.
Open up to whatever you’re out there doing.
And let them take you
The zombie girl
so green and fair
Two dimensional Fish
Floating in her hair
Big almond eyes
She saw you
She saw you
In the river
Zombie girl gonna
She will be waiting