cold steel got love

cold steel got love 
by Katya Mills 


i remember this well. the cold steel in your eyes reflected off the glass of high rise buildings and bottlecaps rolled flat into the street. in opposition to the glossy sky, the kinda deep blue you rarely see anymore in a city. we got together around the time Drake cut his first album which went viral before viral was an expression. the best album. life got crazy for us back then, the whole of us, maybe a core of ten or twenty related intrinsically to a greater constellation, maybe fifty or sixty or more popping off the skin of the larger community. a bunch of anti-establishment mad motherfuckers with nowhere to go just live for today. you won me over quickly, at a time when i was in a lot of pain, my cousin had died, i couldn’t make the funeral, my job was hell and life was like a bad breakup. your life was hell and we both knew nothing of a future until it appeared and it was us. something special had arrived. sometimes Hollywood comes out of nowhere, anywhere, thin air like. now Hollywood is Hollywood and behind the scenes it’s all one giant character assassination. but it’s a damn good show if that’s what it takes to create it. you cannot help but fall in love with it. everything decompensates around it. between us we formed a concept. it was our little secret and there could be no dissent. when you feel this, you know this. magic. real end of the rainbow shit. storybook status. like we already made history, before we made it. cold steel got love like us. cold steel got love.

12.21.21

im not so great in many a formal

setting i like to dress just how i feel

lovely or bedraggled 

makes no sense to me to dial it up

otherwise. maybe for joyful masquerade 

the show off who expresses toward some aim

i so disdain it makes me tremble

#katyamills

423am

run on 4 hours sleep

ice cream for breakfast wash

it down with house coffee they

dont paint a great face they wont

talk too much smack they aint 

buttoned up in the finest fabrics 

they just work hard a long day

ahead and they mean it 

sincerely   #katyamills

smile the sad goodbye

they wore out

fabrics to allay the troubling

times one of rayon one

of tested yarn and rope

one of pheasant fur and birch one 

of hope they 

wore out welcomes

made of clay

quilted cloak 

of sunless days they

smiled the sad 

goodbyes   

 #katyamills