new high

sunday morning

jazz club

Tampa Bay. 1997

struck by a social chord they 

got the beat back

having failed to prosper

in willful self

isolation

#katyamills

in.som.nia

the streets of sacramento changing

new apartment buildings

restaurants and shops

 

my back was achin i

could not get to sleep

 

ten years ago was an empty

warehouse waitin to be

furnished

 

now shes all grown up like

the cost of living

getting high

 

someone who could not believe

pushed out into the country

instant high

the sun rose red
in an ashen sky
my failing was fast food
and an instant
high

hi

waitin for my fix

outside

chick passes me
like im a telephone pole

unlocks the glass door
i say HEY

all i need is a filter
and some water under
boil SEE

i got this fukkin maxwell
house

OFF the street
while waitin

THANKS

she snarls but
comes back with the
smokin teapot and
papers

my shaking hands
take the paper
lean my head back
on my nekk

empty tin into
paper put paper
over mouth

lift teapot over
head and POUR

now im really
flyin

HI

K says

There are better things to do than chase a high, and better things to do than chase someone chasing a high.

'Flying fish' by K

poison. the girls

might sound crazy but i was holdin on to a memory. of you and me. before all those things happened. ya.

might sound crazy but it was the first week we were together. we were in the old Impala with the flat tan finish. ya. we were gettin high.

you had a baseball cap on backwards like that tomboy from the bad news bears. the original. skinny acidwash jeans and long hair like axl rose circa 1987. Indiana.

i was all my tore up old self. like usual. a taller and possibly skinnier you. bad hair day. like always. no bra. ya. walgreens wool cap spinning around my middle finger.

there we were clear as day in my mind just now. scratchin’ bingo with my switchblade. gettin’ high. wow. must have been twenty ten. just look at us then.

i know it sounds crazy but even with the madness what with the sadness that followed and haunted us so…

god i must be crazy but i long to be back there again with you now. the way the love full of light filled our eyes. the way that you touched me and gave me the chills.

the weight of the eighty impala beneath us. reading our poems aloud and again. feeling the fortune of finding a friend.

oh why?
oh why
    did it all
have to
end?

katya mills © 2014
this is dedicated to k&k