enter the ocean

i cannot believe i am
flawless if you told me a million times

the salty breath

crashing into shore 

repeats this notion in my dumb ears

if you dare not enter the ocean 

headlong you will not drown
neither will you be 

healed 

#katyamills

3.3.4 gin

three. three. four. gin

I thought about you after I met you and we played cards and I thought, wow, you are a really good person, you are someone special, and I remember putting my cards down, three three four and declaring GIN on you. And you were happy for me, you didn’t need to win at all, and that was lovely for both of us. Then when I saw you again you could bend your knee a little bit more, and you said someone bought you breakfast because they saw you had no money, and then someone else gave you money for smokes but not enough for a pack, and you were able to talk the corner store clerk down for one, and you’ve had it for three days and haven’t even finished it yet. And I was happy to see good things happening to a good person, and that you’ve been able to cut back on smoking, too, cuz it’s bad for your health. I told you how I thought about you and how you’re special, and I wish that your life gets better and everything turns out well for you and you can walk again, and that you are able to open that orphanage someday somewhere like you wanted.

out of pain

What is real is the shift of perception, and then the underlying feelings are real. they may fall away, but they remain in the heart, for good or for bad, it is real. out of pain comes powerful healings sometimes.   -KatYa