pale and glow

the lake was calm  

took him in running 

diving forward and

down. the voices at his back 

drowned

gravity mollified

he turns to sand

shock of hair a sea 

creature reaching 

limbs pale and

glow they know 

never to be seen

above or 

below

#katyamills

reading #144

A.T.E.

jaded as jade. revisited.

‘Jaded as Jade’

by Katya Mills

 

 

There i was…

 

Headed out from my apartment on foot

Cheap walmart moccassins

Expose my toes

Dressed to kill fashion

 

With blood on my arms

Where my kittens attacked me

While sleeping off a one night stand

With my pen

 

There i was…

 

A young american

Single white female

Contemporary genXer

 

Using animated semi-fiction

to report

the hideous truths

could never be received

by the culture

embedded within

them

 

There i was…

 

Bicycle framed on my shoulder

Takin’ myself too seriously

And then some

All the way down the

Stairway to the

Street…

 

 

Tryin’ for light-hearted

All through the morning

 

Highlighted strands of hair

Fallin’ out behind my fuji feather

Lickin’ the base of my neck like

Blonde flames

 

Under the influence of anti-gravity

In the dark and baby blue of the dawn

 

There i was…

 

Down the street after dawn

Dealing with all the personalities of the world in a single room…

And then some

 

Tolerating as best i could tolerate

Day #5 without a cigarette

 

My own personality, the most difficult and least refreshing of them all

Splitting hairs with split personalities

Spitting in the wind

Jaded as jade

 

There i was…

 

Banana fucking split!

Upright on my bike

Riding back home

Five miles of

Legs and no

Hands

 

Praying i might take a dive on the railroad tracks

Just so i could feel something

Different

 

Split ends and all

my hair falling back ‘gainst

gravity to lick my

neck in the

wake of

me

 

There i was…

 

With the sinking depression that clung to my soul, all of my life

Sinking back into my pain, as the burning sun rose silently over my head

In central california

 

Here i am…

 

Split ends and all

In the wake of me

 

Without shade

Praying for a miracle

 

Jaded as

Jade

faith

all i wanted was nothing i needed
when wanting
my need
superceded

i was told life is work
i was taught to work hard

i never knew faith

i thought
to control

even the sun
had to learn
without spin
the earth burn

even the sun
cannot control
all it made
all it touched
verdant spring
so inspired

even the sun
needs some faith
every night
to surrender
every night
we remember

every life
owes a debt
toward the sun

every morning
when the light comes
every life
looks up

to credit
the sun
its creation

far away
from me now

may my blood
sweat and tears
be the same
so my needs
my want
supercedes

without it
the darkness
eternally
leads