friends. combo

what if you became we

would the disparity between our worldviews

soften?  if we were the best of each of us
combined. turn the station from the blame game
to the acclaim game
and celebrate our friendship
combined
let our disagreements be
and find a common
ground

remix.

i was moody
i was ready i was
running through a field
i was young i was
adventurous
i was heading for a fall
you were walking
you were friendly eating raspberries
off the bush
you were older
and reticent and you
wanted to protect me
we were unlikely bound for friendship
in a deep and southern
town we drank orange juice
walked the shoreline painted
fences stood us
down

11.7

2018. you will be with me and i, with you. we will not question. we will take on the world, every morning after prayer, and fight the good fight, long as the day gives light. then may we rest on the rooftop in Oakland. watching the sun set, either side of the seven eleven. then, in the incandescent, your heartbeat is mine.

lbd’s

lbd. saturdays

when sundays became mondays the world almost died of a heart attack. thank goodness our hair and air were fully conditioned. i wanted to stretch saturday and shake it out, but it was rigid as glass. by wednesday we were a distant memory with no return in sight. i would have to sweeten you up with something to get close again. how about a stringy lbd in an underachieving post? must i sing a song?

loss six

another loss – vi

faith is porous on the streets. you only have what you see, and anyone wants you to believe there’s somethin more for you, if only you trust them for a moment. you gotta keep your faith deep in your heart, and not extend it to those who would use you… i tried explainin’ to you about your bike, and how i needed to switch it out for mine, and could get it back to you tomorrow if that was okay. but you lost some confidence in me and could i blame you? we did not run in the same circles anymore. we argued for a while. i implored you the bmx was safe inside my new digs on Magnolia. i offered you collateral if you wanted, i would leave my rings with you. if you wanted we could go and get it later. you thought about it and either you extended some faith in me or else you didn’t wanna argue anymore, and let it lie. i helped you pack your stuff and clean your place so you could get your deposit back, and you let me shower there before checking out, because where i was going, well, they might have had the law behind them and plenty of cash, but these corrupt attorneys letting me a room, well, they coulda been arrested for uncleanliness…

loss 4

another loss -iv

i borrowed your bike because mine was already locked up in my future home, this cool and windless morning, and after passing through De Fremery Park,  i found my key under a stone and let myself into the ranch on Magnolia surrounded by high and gapless fence. after catching my breath, i switched out yours for mine, as my Motobecane was twice ten speed and yours BMX. i determined it too dangerous to travel slow through West Oakland at dawn. the lady of the house, an attorney corrupted by law, was dead asleep ina sheet ona couch in the living room. i held my new key close to my heart, and walked down the hall to see the project i had recently completed. two new coats of eggshell paint covered four walls, ready to receive the light and warm a heart or two. all the cat dander raised up in the disturbance, in my lungs now,  soon to wake me with fits of asthma overnight. once i would be lucky, with my dear Kali at my side in the cot, fourth of july, to help with pressure points and rifle through my many backpacks for my inhaler , to rescue me without breath.

 ten five. fish

some friends are like

friends are like

are like

     fish you cast out for

 them cast out for them

out for them

    and (too small) they

 have to be have

to be too small and

thrown back to the

back to the

shallows the

sea

the pinnacle effervescent

my wattpad story, continued…

Going solo and burning bright into the night was one thing, kicking it with friends and new friends all day was something else. Both made Antipathy feel extra special lucky. She could be a loner for sure, but if she ever felt lonely she tended to reach out. You could say she preferred being alone when she wasn’t feeling lonely. But having good friends? This was the pinnacle effervescent.

They mostly had a good time this very day, the three of them. Dagger was a very kind boy and perhaps a young soul. He knew how to listen and laugh, and he didn’t always have his hands in his pockets where you couldn’t see them. He was pretty expressive really, for a boy, and Antipathy was paying attention. Of course LilBit kept poking and prodding her like she was livestock. See my new ring? she said, I’m gonna get married… he’s short, light and ugly. Of course she was lying. Antipathy whinnied and pulled away and snorted, and LilBit reigned her in by her necklace.

Dagger watched the two girls and wondered how many lifetimes they had been friends. He really admired girls for their friendships, which could be deep like submarines. He had friendships with guys which were close but in a different regard. They would show up for one another and be there to help out in various ways. They didn’t always wanna talk, but they would be there. He thought of his friend Matthew and you could tell it disturbed him.

You see, his friend’s family was a car wreck just waiting to happen. Matthew was full grown now and had shown up his dad. He couldn’t continue to watch his family be torn apart by this mean and abusive man. So one day he stepped in between. His dad began trembling, unaccustomed to his power being challenged, and tried to strike him. This was about a year ago, and since then it was a contest of wills to see who was gonna be the real head of the family.

Dagger told the girls the story, speaking mostly to LilBit who he knew best. But Antipathy was right there listening, too, and would not forget the part about how Dagger’s friend Matthew’s dad on several occasions told him and his siblings that he put them in the world and he could take them out if he so chose. The subject dropped pretty quickly because it was disturbing and Dagger didn’t wanna spoil the pinnacle effervescent.

When she felt she oughta remember something, well, Antipathy would. She was like one of those cafe baristas whose been trained to remember your name, and surprises the hell out of you when you show up a week or two later and they know who you are, and you have to look at their name pinned to their shirt in order to properly thank them, and then they surprise you again cause they know you like the large iced almond milk latte, easy on the ice, too.