k #archive

Atlantis, times three

Posted on July 28, 2013 by KatYa

i am trying to find myself

between commercials

apparently

i am located

somewhere deeper

than that

Atlantis

times three

i remember almost dying

the weight

was too great

i got

stepped on

like flagstones

I saw you there

we could touch

almost

through our

imperial pints

of tears

drowning

Atlantis

times three

i got stripped

like a stripper

but without

so much

a choice

off the walls

in the paint

in the darkness

the memory

faint

gracefully

i laced up

to give them

something

2 remember

gracefully

i tried then

2 forget

sometimes

i grabbed the knives

in the kitchen

and turned

toward them

screaming

its real painful

to look

i could drown

in it

Atlantis 

times three

i found me

by looking

baptized

by watercolor

bled down

in the city

bled out

to the valley

sweet canvas

of colors

shelters me now

the painted walls

i like to

leave them

this way

i am different

i am young

my spirit

touched by

the sound

of the colors

dripping down

Atlantis 

times three

is where

i am found

-Katya

July, 2013

remix.

life got painful you
could not take it anymore so
you found a corner
to cut you got caught you
were young
that’s what we do
we make mistakes
we are reckless
learning to live
today the pearls are strung
thrice around your neck
turkish coffee drips into ceramic
sheltered by hands
nails
translucent like newborn sea shells
all that ever happened
in your eyes

life as lab

As a kid  I witnessed attributes and played with them.

What would happen when I misbehaved?

life as laboratory I tried lying and

got caught. tried being super

nice to people I don’t know

I tried bullying (after I myself was bullied)

I tried kissing my friends (without their consent)

I tried doing chores without being asked

not doing chores

fighting with fists

reading a book from beginning to end

without stopping

writing a book (age eleven)

If an adult caught me experimenting this way

I risked being earmarked based on my behavior.

This was called judgment and came very easy to them.

I tried it…

I learned not to trust adults

very well

re.verb

last day of may the reverb

America. was the last day of may and all of the dead end streets look like never ending roads, and all the dead end relationships are enthusiastic pressing another go around with hopes one lucky night of what we once had may carry a small sound around and turn the johnny rotten back to first date territory with long lashes and laughter, and heal the deep gashes like reverb sweetening the deal, to hold a song’s triumphant note deep into the memory of the night, a stripped mall’s dollar store turned boutique, a dead end presidency turned back to camelot and kennedy days, a mid-preaching pause full of meaning, careless words begin to care, a rebellion to the cause of suffer leaning… it was the last day of may and we have a chance to be deep again, full again, and resonant

44

four found a friend
in four

four and four made
of arrows

birds flyin cross
some tracks

of elbows
of arms

profile made
four -n- four
side by side

in prayer

and greater
than the sum of them
selves

with gods

the deuces held court
the days were short
inside them

the nights began
at eight

w(h)ip

Dead of winter
starry night
Fearful cold
bluish light
i find myself alone
again
after dinner thin
mint the charleston
a dance
i listen
watching you
see how you falter
fumbling at the altar
locked up inside
alone again
all whatever fabric
falls off
you listen
watching me
just enough time
to wave
goodbye
something quite amazing
will happen when
we leave
the body
behind