Process #4

I have abandoned all social media for now. Reached 17,328 words, for my national novel draft. Found myself in a wordcount worrisome, and pulled myself up and out by virtue of deliberated apathy. Not caring was the only way out. Frame of mind began to improve. Then life got in the way, yesterday, and by noon I was pulling my hair. Cursing Zeus and Apollo and maybe Poisedon. I cannot remember. Zeus laughed at my vexedness, and sent a lightning bolt through my problems. Apollo looked at me sideways, and said really? Poisedon stuck a fork in me, cause I was done. No more feeling sorry for K.  To take care of K, was to take the day off of writing altogether. And so I did. Then allowed myself a good night sleep. The moon is wax. Today I sat down to write, all prepared, and felt a sudden pain of the burden of so many words again. I became patient and still. Then I remembered this: why do I write? I write because I am excited about putting words together and sharing them. This is my intoxication. Challenging myself to put a world on paper. Then I wrote 2,000 words, enjoying each word like skipping rocks. I skipped 2,000 rocks today off an Alaskan beach, into the dark and life-giving depths of Prince William Sound. Just outside Anchorage. I feel anchored in this work, this draft, this life, this November. Sometimes you just gotta sit still through the pain, see what it is telling you, let it inform you, and then go on with courage, locate your heart, and do what needs be done. Image

encourage

Let the willows 

weep

our past

collective

buried in back 

yards

 

Leave the path

of light

unobstructed

 

Worry

we could

would

did

 

Lunar 

solar

eclipse

 

Let us dig

our toes

in earth

See

sky-like 

potential 

 

What compelling

differential!

 

Milk

with

upsidedown

cake

Image