impressions from a dream

i had a dream. you were standing in line for concert tickets. for us. i was waiting in the car outside. i could see you through the glass. when you got back to me i realized you only bought one. for yourself. we had a big fight. i was outraged again. you could see i was hurt and nothing could be done about it. emotional i pulled away from the curb. deep in the heart of a city. i was full of adrenaline and losing it. i stepped on it and drove that old Chevy into a subway enclosure. bloody stepping out on the street. you were okay, more worried for me. someone called for an ambulance. then we could hear the sirens. you embraced me. i finally got it. you cared. i couldn’t calm down.  #katyamills

april 25

the kid at dutch bros this morning handed me my annihilator with light ice. i asked: how are you? i had a dream last night, he said. i was back in high school and late for a physics exam on chapter 5 and my ride fell through. i woke up completely stressed… i offered him a quick interpretation of the dream. i hate you! he said, i don’t want to know anything about myself!

#katyamills

anarch.y

was gonna cross myself

take something wasn’t mine

had the opportunity and 

let it be. before i awoke found

myself reading what i wrote on a stage

touching into my under

blue arm tattoo

dear anarchist dream self 

thank you for coming in 

line after 48 years all 

crosses

#katyamills

last dream in august

this morning i am early to rise
a dream i had stays with me
but i do not realize until
i get a call from my best friend
who also is early to rise

i begin to share with him my dream
for he was in it and in it
i dialed 911 because i was worried
about him

the officer on the phone
listened and asked me questions
then calmed me and reassured me
it was good that i called and said

i had no need to worry any longer
about my friend. and
gave me a bible verse
Corinthians 3:16

i remember!
my friend asks me do i know the verse?
i do not and i do not
 often read my bible anymore
when i look up the verse i
cannot even get through it
without fighting back tears
Do you not know that you 
are the temple of God 
and that the Spirit 
of God dwells in you?

dream of a loss

i just now woke from a nightmare whereby my keys were lost or stolen. my friend sarah who i havent seen in a decade was the only bright aspect to the dream. she was helping me. taking me to some lesser known city resource where hopelessness ends.

we were waiting in line when i woke up. the stress melted out of my mind and body like a pad of butter in a pan. the birds the sun and the cats preceded me to consciousness. a couple hours before work. how terrible a feeling, to lose anything important to you.

nightmare

I was alone in a dark house in the woods late at night, when all the doors and windows started rattling. I thought maybe it was the winds. I turned on a spotlight, some relic of old Hollywood, and opened the front door to see. The air was calm and still. I saw a small figure in the woods, dressed in red. She was picking her way through the brush, approaching the house. I was frightened of her, for she had power. She called out to me: who are you? Katya, I said, calling out into the night. I am Katya. When I said my name aloud, all my fear dispersed. I was given many times my strength… what a nightmare!