mack truck

i was making my way down a particularly dicey part of highway number 5. in a hatchback, black. in a single lane slowpoke being invaded on either side. half the heads i saw were looking back at me from the road. not a good sign in a sea of choppy brake lights. my lane was more compressed than the sacramento real estate rental market and the hottest around. you coulda sold space and got rich in a sec, without thinking. the overpasses left heavy eyeliner inside the shadow of downtown, highlighted by the glass of a thousand former accidents. the exit for Q street was coming up like the question i was asking myself: should i get off this bad trip before i make history? and for all the wrong reasons. sometimes a single choice can save your life. it would take me way off my timing, was the con. i kept my course. i could reach out and touch the rushed commuters, encased in their steel murder machines. i jedi mind tricked myself into a crosswalk mentality, like those white lines meant anything to protect us. i turned up my radio and let down the windows. i threw fear into the wind as i shifted into third. kept my eyes on the tail of a wandering june bug with dual exhaust. all seemed well. then the mack truck came screeching down my left flank and almost pinioned a subaru dead stopped by the weavers, all running interference. i saw the giant wheels roll by and they were smoking. taller than my car! melting rubber for a living! suddenly my world could fit inside a hot wheel. i could read the writing. on the sidewall.

angels in portland

I have many angels they come in many forms. One time I was in Portland and they followed me there and saw I was in a weak state, susceptible to influence and likely to walk into danger. I had many an adventure over the course of several days, there, and met hardened criminals who I spoke with plainly. And I exuded an emotional honesty. I was smoking lots of cigarettes. I was in a lot of pain then, having survived a sequence of nightmarish events. I was in between worlds. I did not always realize right away I was in danger, but when I did I had enough time and conviction and skill to maneuver my way out of it. I believe I remained unharmed because of god, intuition, family, and my angels. I have become the kind of person who is more modest than proud, more intuitive than smart, more compassionate than driven, and more conscious of others than I am of myself. And someone whom anyone would be less willing to harm, maybe, more willing to get their needs met by asking me first, knowing I would be inclined to give whatever I can to you, freely.

precipice

There he was, alone in the room. There was the light and him and the dust and the sound of the keys striking, and the strings being struck all alone in the room, and more than a sensation an emotion joined them, he and the light and the keys making chords, the emotion barely registered on his face and one could catch it at the upturned edge of an eyelash, and only for a fraction of a second. Balancing there. Causing the edge to collapse. He promised himself he would not think upon her again. It was not safe.

8

my Wattpad story continued…

The flashback ended when I made it to LilBit’s door, not a block from the train station; the man and the truck and the Olds vanished in a puff of powder blue smoke. I rapped my knuckles hard in morse code – SOS – my dad once taught me. I walked pretty fast to get ahead of my tail. I sure hope LilBit knows morse code, but it’s a long shot. I hope she’s not flossing. She is such a chronic toothbrusher. Her breath smells like Baking Soda and mint. Everyone loves kissing her, even her friends make out with her just for fun. It’s really good practice for the real thing. I mean Love.

I am thinking this will be like all the movies that ever lived, you know, the door will open and my friend will let me in just as the man (my tail) reaches out for me and I will escape danger. Life sure could learn something from the movies.

LilBit does come to the door in time, though we would have to wait here and shoot the crap for a little while to let the man catch up, to make it come off like the movies, in the nick of time. But nobody’s watching or sitting on the edge of their seats or anything, so what would be the point? LilBit shows me her whitened teeth and shows me in. She is about to close the door when she spots my tail and calls out to him. Dagger! Whatcha up to?

I feel like spilt milk as the two of them embrace and start laughing over some insider joke I am on the outside of. Come in, come in! she begs, and Dagger follows us into the Belly of the Beast. Her apartment, I mean. I jackknife myself on to the couch, LilBit cannonballs beside me, and Dagger politely and carefully drops into an armchair across from us, and I suddenly feel rather silly for having been worried about him.

Baking Soda and mint. LilBit kisses. My life is complete.