hang by the neck until dead

i was in love with her
if i hadn’t been
 i wouldn’t have wanted
 to murder her
that day
i had a choice
to break her neck
to be a monster
and go to prison for life
(or a few weeks)
depending upon
my miserable
and how much i could raise
to back my colorless
or take a public defender
 turn back time
and hang
by the neck
until dead