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you wanted to be someone 

you could be anything you

could be someone you could 

be yourself   #katyamills

writing a book

itching for play (writing process)

my friends, confidence rises as the words fall into place and chapters materialize around central concepts and characters. the cover is itching for play as i write into the future of this series. not knowing where it is going, i understand myself better seeking who i am then being who i have found myself to be. i need not wear the booksellers cap right now. of course i crave readership and less do i thirst for sales. i am much more interested in communicating with my audience than banking off of them. how separate the marketing mind is from the actual making of a book. july has been very good. best month in months for WIP production. i have been back to shouting out from behind my desk, alone in my room but for cats! a very good sign. i don’t holler much unless i’m onto something. like any project of any kind, the builder can see when things are falling into place (or not). with this book, not unlike the others preceding it, i found the process of setting the foundation to be painstaking, almost like the surface was some scraggled slippery rock on saturn. like bones on the mend, i had to literally break it up several times and reset it. there were days i could not even walk and meet the site,  the reminder of all the work needing done. the healing has begun. the foundation is in place and the structure rises up and takes form against the harsh landscape! though the inners must be fulfilled, it is a lovely and most tingly experience to walk around and above and look upon the book, the materialized form of it! (i mean in my mind, materialized as a vision) again, this work heals me and has little to do with the separate process of bookselling and building readership. it’s a faith play. knowing that it’s a fine house and someone will make it their home. the cool thing about a book or work of art, is that the builder shares the home with the reader and the world. i am unsure how large my fan base is, at this time, and it may be very small. but the author, the one who writes, is carefree! carried across the healing process, jettisoned into fresh space, wearing saturn’s ring. saying what i needed to say, in an ordinary, heartfelt (ritualized and methodical) way. and the paint job? the cover, she awaits, ornamental, itching for play.

1.2.3.1

they say it will be different but i don’t believe them. they say to get excited something’s coming but what? i am already excited. now they are reminiscing all of them but i don’t want to. please. i wanna stay right here cause it is all i can handle. yes, yes, i can celebrate with you! why not. this moment is full of potential and i’m gonna fill it with all i’ve got. please can i contribute to society in my own way? i am thankful when i can. i really love trains but not getting railroaded. thank you for letting me be me on this ride. loco. motive.

rainy day. woman

On rainy days
especially
she imagined
herself

Someone’s
version of her
prevailed

when the tears
dried

oneness

No need to trip on those wires, my friends, cause whether on or offline there’s always the possibility of wireless means of psychic connection… don’t you feel the goodness in your hearts i emanate to you on the daily?
if not, maybe i must try harder to reach out my light to you. oh. no don’t be scared of my shadow. my darkness is deep and you can take a peek for sure, but i embrace all within me and therefore it has no kinda dark power or control over me nor does anyone, anymore. i have been there. what i am saying is hmm… an expansiveness of communication is always possible, and the idea, after we get sick of our samsungs and iphones, is to really say goodbye and recycle all those puppies into a black hole (one of so many out there). perhaps the one on galaga 25. 37 X. that’s a particularly vacant dark matter hole wishing to receive all our crapola technologies. then we can go back to being fully conscious human beings. until that final receiving dock for the body letting go of the spirit, aka the earth. we can no longer risk getting robbed in our semi-conscious social media haze glaze. then again, we are where we are. so accept it and use it to convey your personal to the collective moshpit slushpile. yes, add your harmonics to the vibratory being of coalesced beauty, within and without. we are universal ONE and is not that scary? well. no need to be afraid of reality. just BE. 

it happens

You might think there’s nothing happening now

You might stop thinking and something might happen

Something might happen to you

Something might happen for you

You might fall in love

Someone might love you 

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