dressed ina stare

this room. the one window never
saw a sun set never saw a sun
rise

tired yellow light. emotion-driven
words. dawn not yet broken
and who would know

lonely nights in the city
she lay with someone. any shadow
wrapped in sheets

she was meant to be
surrounded by prayers
careful movements
giving hands

and
who would
know

not this user not this
lover
end of a cigarette
wet. blackened
the other
ceiling dressed ina stare
against his chest
she listened
every man’s heart beat different
and none for her

dressed ina stare

this room. the one window never
saw a sun set never saw a sun
rise

tired yellow light. emotion-driven
words. dawn not yet broken
and who would know

lonely nights in the city
she lay with someone. any shadow
wrapped in sheets

she was meant to be
surrounded by prayers
careful movements
giving hands

and
who would
know

not this user not this
lover. ceiling dressed ina stare
end of a cigarette
wet. blackened
the other

against his chest
she listened
every man’s heart beat different
and none for her

#katyamills
remix 1998

FEBRUARY 11 1998

I found a typewritten sheet from the Royal I had in Florida, 1998, tucked into my diary. Here’s a remix from the first paragraphs I wrote…

She lay with him she

trusted him she knew him no more than

the shadows the moon cast on the wall

dressed and gone by morning

balancing on the edge of the tub

she shaved her legs with a cheap razor

someone left behind

02.11.98

the blood didn’t bother her

there would be no sleep

tonight

he lay awkwardly after

hands in his pockets

she played a palm across his chest

carelessly

to be robbed was something

he imagined he

deserved

taste of her in his mouth feather

pillow imbued with her

perfume

 

#katyamills

remix’98

life @25

1998. love life lacking. movement from ocean side of florida to inner city chicago. dreams of cultural context to inspire, a wealth of journal entries in a leather bound book given me by my brother. i ride on two wheels manufactured by japan. running away from something, i don’t know what. i haven’t learned anything outside of books. i hunger for the streets. i don’t know why. i had it really good. privilege. soft and sea bound. i am about to get what i asked for and get my ass kicked @ 25. willingly.