why so sad?
she asks
my girl my
lovely
thin t shirt
above me
smiling not quite
drunk pinning her locks
to my heart
i dunno it’s so crystal
this moment
big sky holds
us
i snap the
bra strap
as she yawns
#katyamills
remix 1996
why so sad?
she asks
my girl my
lovely
thin t shirt
above me
smiling not quite
drunk pinning her locks
to my heart
i dunno it’s so crystal
this moment
big sky holds
us
i snap the
bra strap
as she yawns
#katyamills
remix 1996
she saw by
her soul
images painful
bold. this world
its children
mix daylight with
earth
she took the lights
down. he pissed on the porcelain
water scattered
with poison
dead leaves pale
faces under a big
sky
candles on the tank
elbows
and shoulders and
knees
he had to have her
pain made him
whole again
behind his eyes
a redemptive quality
cast in a pervasive light
his struggle
hers
#katyamills
remix 1996
Here I reprint a letter I wrote (1996) and never sent
to my first true love. We parted ways that same year.
(from my black cover diary)…
A– ,
Do you still love me? Because I love you and I’m not fucking around when I say so. And to be perfectly clear, to make certain you understand me completely and unquestionably, I want to tell you again I love you, and I have never stopped loving you from the day I met you, through the ups and downs, the varied moods, the emotional depths and altitudes; from the joy we carried, to the coffin of pain we buried. And if you ever want back in my life, my love, there’s a home for you in Tampa, FL. I will never be too proud to confess my love for you, I promise, for love is too strong to be fooled by shallow pride.
I found this piece I wrote in script, 1996
(black cover diary)…
cocaine
sweeping the powder
with the tip of the fingernail
composing your lines
and nothing can bring
you back
bend the neck down
let a shoulder drop
turn your head to one side
meet your creation
the tide comes in
washes you away
fade gently into the horizon
behind a cloud
the undertow
your world has
consumed you
-Katya