daylight with earth

she saw by
her soul
images painful
bold. this world
its children
mix daylight with
earth

she took the lights
down. he pissed on the porcelain
water scattered
with poison

dead leaves pale
faces under a big
sky

candles on the tank

elbows
and shoulders and

knees

he had to have her
pain made him
whole again

behind his eyes
a redemptive quality
cast in a pervasive light
his struggle
hers

#katyamills
remix 1996

shade breathing dust at noon

Pelicans seesaw then dive in a row
stabbing daggers into salt
water in the wind
i am the line not yet drawn
a whole awaiting division
clouds form faces against the sky
watching the sun
swallowed by the sea
i am permanence for that
which is changing
seagulls flutter and cry
across the new horizon
some light left behind
a burning memory
i cry in colored sunsets
waiting for coffee
to open my
eyes
i am a shade breathing
dust at noon
taken and remixed from the black coverĀ 
journal of katya mills ’96
i was 23 years old

letter to true love (1996)

Here I reprint a letter I wrote (1996) and never sent
to my first true love. We parted ways that same year.
(from my black cover diary)…

A– ,

Do you still love me? Because I love you and I’m not fucking around when I say so. And to be perfectly clear, to make certain you understand me completely and unquestionably, I want to tell you again I love you, and I have never stopped loving you from the day I met you, through the ups and downs, the varied moods, the emotional depths and altitudes; from the joy we carried, to the coffin of pain we buried. And if you ever want back in my life, my love, there’s a home for you in Tampa, FL. I will never be too proud to confess my love for you, I promise, for love is too strong to be fooled by shallow pride.

cocaine (1996)

I found this piece I wrote in script, 1996
(black cover diary)…

cocaine

sweeping the powder
with the tip of the fingernail
composing your lines

and nothing can bring
you back

bend the neck down
let a shoulder drop
turn your head to one side

meet your creation

the tide comes in
washes you away

fade gently into the horizon
behind a cloud

the undertow

your world has
consumed you

-Katya