drafting

one way to start fresh on a piece of writing is not worry about anything. let the words go. care less of punctuation which can be righted in the editing phase. come back to it later. let the rhythm get top billing. storytelling gets VIP treatment. this is a free write so let it be free.  #katyamills

Redding 1

we met you randomly on the banks 

where the river was churning in a  

hydroelectric power play 

you told us your troubles with the law.

the domestics. the time you did

how you’re not a bad guy

if they weren’t lying and cheating

then… then what? then you wouldn’t have

beat them? we wanted to toss you 

in the river to help you wake up

but we weren’t strong enough 

to lift you  #katyamills

impressions from a dream

i had a dream. you were standing in line for concert tickets. for us. i was waiting in the car outside. i could see you through the glass. when you got back to me i realized you only bought one. for yourself. we had a big fight. i was outraged again. you could see i was hurt and nothing could be done about it. emotional i pulled away from the curb. deep in the heart of a city. i was full of adrenaline and losing it. i stepped on it and drove that old Chevy into a subway enclosure. bloody stepping out on the street. you were okay, more worried for me. someone called for an ambulance. then we could hear the sirens. you embraced me. i finally got it. you cared. i couldn’t calm down.  #katyamills

go on. be infinite

delivering packages on a bike

i am pumping legs

exhaust through my nostrils

the city a living breathing monster

the cars are out to kill us

flat on my back 

staring up between skyscrapers

blood trickling down the side of my mouth

i am no longer finite i am

a strange peace

#katyamills

(meditation on a story i am writing)

action on the street. two thousand some.

the women with newport smooth hundreds walk the sidewalks, smoke sweeps into their lungs. heads dizzy with the chemicals they swing their upper bodies down over the bus stop benches, regretfully, and around go the hips, puff their lips out at the strangers, push middle fingers out at dangers. the drunks duck into meeting halls, intoxicated by sweet anonymity, the junkies escape the blistering heat of the valley, prayers and those who care, or want to care, inside open doors. tears of misery. tears of joy. the women born in the forties and fifties come out with abandon, pushing upper ages into push up bras with powder, in triple digit heat. the older they are the stronger. the men have become very kind and sugar sweet with old age. out with their canes, in wheelchairs, on walkers. ripened and unashamed to be weak after lifetimes of having to be strong. the heat has the strip malls and parking lots cooked, melting tar into rivulets dripping down where the rainwater is supposed to take the oils, the wheels they are spinning and change direction to avoid an ugly truth in the road, the film drips off of grills embedded in the pavement, the fishtails of boys in cars dragging the streets take water in through the gills. the ones been around the block stand there talking, don’t need to go around it again, the quiet ones come out to listen to the talkers who are talking to anyone and no one, the young ones quiet and listening but not for long, the young girls holding the hands of the young men and young women, smile and kick up the dust, the young boys are satellites who blush. the workers are working, the players playing cards, the surveyors, construction, on the job, hammering and drilling and surveying, connecting wires, hard hats on hard heads, staring at a soft ass passing by on the street, hard, hammering and measuring and shouting over the trucks, wishing they was talking to some honey, sugar sweet. the smokers are kicking snipes into the street, newports and kools and camels, dehydrated, rolling embers off the end of a half-smoked marlboro, rollies, talking shit, looking, the girls gossiping and looking and laughing a little, the men boasting and smiling, the punks smoking reds like joints. real estate agents taking smoke breaks on the hour. waitresses cursing into their breaks, called back in by a supervisor or line cook to get their asses inside and grab that fucking marinated mountain trout with rice and green beans. they sashay into the air conditioned dining rooms to their tables. waiters incensed by ten percents, dropping cans and butts on cold cement. then out on the streets, free, after they all punch out.  #katyamills

book release!

Date of publication: May 3, 2020.

Trouble’99 by Katya Mills

available now on amazon.com @

https://www.amazon.com/TROUBLE99-KATYA-MILLS-ebook/dp/B0881HLL78/

Set in Chicago in 1999, four friends carry their broken hearts into the new century. Busking, drinking to keep warm, couch surfing…amidst a landscape of dot-com era corporate growth and nihilism. Walk alongside them in this cool and captivating story of love and music, heartache, misfortune, and redemption. An honest portrayal of a disaffected generation coming of age, from the mind of Katya Mills, author of Grand Theft Life, Maze, and Girl Without Borders.

Ebook available now.

Paperback coming soon!

 

 

reading #146

A.T.E.

reading #140

AME AND THE TANGY ENERGETIC

tower bridge

ghost. tower bridge

Several minutes before midnight we were passing through letters and numbers of roads. The harvest had grown thin with the moon, and the night was lit in pockets by neon-spelled vacancies between empty lots and service stations on the main thoroughfare. The fires of hell had been subdued by the fighters, and left a tinge of smoke to permeate the valley air. I hugged my sweatshirt close and listened to the engine of the truck as you brought her to speed. The tower bridge was in sight now, outlined by spotlights facing up to the sky. The river swirled quiet below in the dark, turning and churning and yearning for sea. We could not help but seeing a figure, taller than life and draped in unknown layers of cloth, standing in the middle of the street at the entrance to the bridge.  I looked at you and you looked at me. A chill came across our engines, as we thundered on by in the lowest of gears. The figure stood perfectly still. I tried to see who it might be and found myself looking into a void with no face and no name, and no resonance of life, none whatsoever! We both knew instinctively after passing, not to look back. I looked down at the body of water and saw some reflections of light in the water. The bridge underneath spoke out against the weight of us… even they! even they!Even they, more alive than the ghost!

tangential 2 you

you told me again how it happened. you found a diary from two years ago, and read me an entry from a single day. what you wrote came to pass. you got to feeling good about yourself. you were tired of living in a room and board. you stopped taking your meds when they ran out. before long, there would be empty bottles of vodka under your bed. you lost touch with reality. you stopped returning calls and closed your door, and began to drown. again…this is not the first time we have said goodbye. i make sure to hold on longer because i know how bad it gets when you fall. i am just a counselor, tangential to your life. you have worked so hard this time, i’m proud of you. you inspired the others. i hope we won’t see you here again but if we do, we will be family and embrace you.