disappearance

with a face that blocked the entire sun

a voice made of water fallen

she lured you 

up the slippery rocks at her feet

toward the clearing where 

her lofty song thundered 

down

i lashed myself to a beech tree there 

calling yelling shouting

no longer able to see or hear 

so this is how they 

disappear

#katyamills

Merced River. 2023

we follow her twisting frothy madness north by Highway 49. roar ascending like a stadium crowd at the south fork. her banks filled to the brim with snow transmuted by the sun and rushing off the peaks. what’s left of the wildest winter. our spirits rise to her 

#katyamills

high stakes

i learned by living

to lower the stakes we set so 

high we panic

scared to make a single

mistake…

i learned by living

if you fall it may be bittersweet

for the ground she will

hold you

#katyamills

the one true friend

you

at eleven

was nothing like you 

at fourteen

beyond the years

red with fire and no longer 

green

please 

let me be the one true friend

i refuse to amble along

pretending not

to notice

#katyamills

the licks

in the city of your dreams

scurry the serpentine back road black 

top beauty. an ice cream snowball 

crashes into your knee

natural painkiller

for all the licks

#katyamills

nails

i am taken

flecked with silver and shimmering

hands clasped around your neck

wearing the forever coat of nails

you made me

i wanna kill the ones who made the internet

sometimes. for drawing me away from you 

to careless icy screens

#katyamills

the living daylights

out of bars

out of cars

they got kicked

(they got scars)

out of class

been harassed

off of trains

in the head out of bed in the dark

the living daylights extinguished

off and on like an electrical short

some say

they made hard living look

lissome

#katyamills

give a secret to the sky

galaxies 

on our fingertips

we rest in a field

sciatica makes you sigh

a secret falls off the lips

up cycled into

sky

#katyamills

locals

we locals

not casting out very far

wheel around town in a three door car

you know our names and we know yours

stop at the candy store and the bar

for some steady gossip to remedy 

any overthink with a steady

drink

 #katyamills

wild card

perfection. the dalliance ends now. stop the fuckery. i am with friends i walk with good intent. the weight of age and time the only pain i carry. no longer self-inflicted. my royal flush ends with a wild card. the feeling you get after you lost it all. to live on.   #katyamills