force

i had a nightmare and woke up and drank some water and when i fell back asleep it turned into a dream. you can try but you cannot force things. if i’m feeling discontent, like i’m selling myself short or worked up into some resistance, i try to locate what i’m fighting and stop. you can allow things to be the way they are and still want to change! just be present with yourself and work on it a little every day.

katya selfie 2019

hear.t.breake.r.

i was so looking forward to your visit, seeing you for the first time in 15 years. my blood. my cousin. the only one i’ve got, i mean, the only one i get to talk to anymore. i saw us roaming up to tahoe and down to san francisco, maybe over to the ocean. they had us pinned for black sheep all those years and we survived. i am closer to you for it. how my heart breaks to know you cannot come. what a crusher. okay. so i’m angry, so i’m sad you called it off. these are just feelings. the most important thing is your health. it’s god’s will.  i am close to you, all these miles and miles away.

hk is special

the west and east have always been mirrors. one
sees its autonomy and corruption by the
other. sees its purity and constriction
by the other. sees its integration
in the rare and magical city
where reflections dissolve
and berlin may be
envious

hk. hong
kong

limit.less

limitless hours over and under ground. writing
and what 4. to sustain the hope that someday
one could craft a transmission
would be well received?

let me get up
drag a comb through the hair
pull on the boots
button up the shirt
draw the belt firm across
the waist

step out on the landing
and live! 4 this is worth

the risk