i gave up

i gave up
once friends
who gave up
on me

to keep them
demanded i lose faith
in myself

this was sad
i prayed

i gave up
cigarrettes
they cut short
so many lives

i wanted
so badly
2 breathe

this was hard
i prayed

i gave up
fighting
myself and
the world

behind
some romantic
notion

what i wanted
to be
to see

made a wall
stand between my life
and me

i gave up bread
to the pond
to feed
the ugly
truth duckling

i gave up
retail therapy
no
that’s a lie

i just ran out
of money

im sorry
life gets sad
im sad
lifes so hard

a timeless
tradition
the human
condition
may not
make sense

one day is okay
the next is not

now i pray
every day as
i did
when i was
a kid

back then
early eighties
2 feel good
4 myself

now i pray
how?

2 live how
2 trust how
2 give

away
and not
up