When i put forth the greatest of effort and try

then left all forlorn

with my why?



When my eyes

see your eyes

and the eye lashes back


the honesty says

look away, now

love, look away


How I feel all alone

and your loneliness



i wish for your love

though there’s nothing to



i hate all my wishing

i hate all my hating

hate all my feelings

this way and that


hating you

hating me


and then

get quiet

all turn

to stone


Then come dark clouds, the fifty thousand dark shades

the long and dark nights, the endless dark days


my ears start to bleed

my sight starts to fail

in exchange for choice words 

my Latin

your Greek


choice merciless words

me to you to me speak


The storm in my head wants what happened, unreal

the turning over, my hands, what got stolen, not to steal


i stole from you steal from

away from us



the wall between rooms

made of pa·pier-mâ·ché some



How I would pull all apart! all the glue and the pulp

and i know you would, too! i swear this is



i will

Send out my linens now, white flags on the line

If only to know you were part, my design


i will

unshape the monsters, tie them with twine

with hair if i have to, to keep unrefined

all the hatred between us

the base

solid kind 


Above which we once drew our cottons, with care 

before they got soaked in all our red sea, phantasm glare



in the midnight dead sky

freshly fallen

lost love


Instead i am left to wonder what was

with this broken heart, because and because


surrounded by white flags

and my 

why why?

why whys


the tears

the wood floor

now dries


Soon to burn

in the hearth of my heart

down below


Knowing exactly

what i never wanted 

to know

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