on being hopelessly american… (cross-post off www.katyamills.com)

Cause im american i can blame culture for the disconnect.  Can’t I? Try and stop me. I’m unites states of american. I’m confederation of insults. I’m patriotic beyond hope. I’m guilty of policing. I’m incapable of being anything less than controlling. But I may be less guilty of policing, more guilty of blaming or controlling, i suppose. Only because I am in and of the usa, a victim as much as a loyalist. i have been policed to a T. i have been jailed on false charges which were dropped. I have been scapegoated for things more than a majority were presenting with. i have been cited for marijuana. i have been harassed for self-medicating. i have been judged and accused for crimes i am not capable of committing. I will look you in the eyes but you may wish you hadn’t asked for it. i may look down or away just to concentrate. i am in and of the united states, yet if you really wanna know the truth? i am germanic in heritage. i am Russian in origin. and i don’t mean that’s where i was born. No. but St Petersburg, in the eastern realm? that is where my soul was seeded. I live in california. we call that the west. yet its a couple dozen hours drive from the pacific ocean off western Alaska, where their once was a land bridge which crossed to the far east. So absorb that if you can. Taste the salt in the air from the sea. I did. and i realized i have not gone west like it appears. i have simply gone closer to home. far east.

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